Workaholism: Hazards and Benefits

They say that we are the average of the five people we spend most of our time around. The first time I heard this, I took a long, hard look at my life and immediately starting making some adjustments in my social circle. Though I may have been doing well in the primary pillars of life (professional fulfillment, romantic and other friendships, home life), there were some people who had to go. Why? It's very simple. Though we may feel we have many commonalities with our friends, we still look at ourselves as unique people with our own thoughts, philosophies and ways of life. So what if one of our friends is a complainer, if one is a philanderer, if one is a gossip, if one is passive-aggressive. They're still our friends with great qualities and you need to be loyal to your friends, right?

Not necessarily. For you see, our judgment may not always be the best. And I'm not just talking about crazy things like wars, famine, adjustable rate mortgages and those outfits we wore last decade as signs that humans make bad decisions. We create relationships based on convenience and logistics, we stay in them because of weakness and its evil cousin laziness, we sell ourselves short as we settle to avoid being lonely and change.

Lets go through just some of the characters:

* The 'friend until you meet someone else' - We all know someone like this. You have a fun pal you go through all sorts of adventures with. When you bring new people into the group they're suddenly guarded, defensive and even standoffish.

* The chronic 'woe is me' victim - Does the drama ever stop with this person? Everyday something is wrong it seems whether it's with their work, their spouse or the coffee shop cashier. Funny thing is, most of the complaints seem quite like, well, non-issues to you.

* The 'loose as goose' lack of morals character - This person may like preaching to you on how you should live, but yet is the same one that will take indiscretions. Repeatedly. They will lie, cheat and steal.

* The 'supportive until it conflicts with what they want' person - They may be all gung-ho about your new fitness regimen, until it starts getting in the way of their social plans and want you to sacrifice.

So what are some of the pitfalls you may have by letting some of these characters revolve around your inner circle just a bit too long?

A. You are stuck in your same social rut. Anytime you are around them doing the same thing you always do with them, is a moment of your life that you were not free to meet newer, more positive people.

B. If these people have flaws serious enough that others see right through them, all the while as you continue to overlook them, you may be turning off new people who float through your life who might have enriched it. Imagine that, people who might have been the bridge to connecting you with a better job, meaningful friends, romance and whatnot, all turned off because of the jerk (male or female) that you've learned to tolerate.

C. You have been so motivated all week in keeping up with your routine, but at the constant urging of this friend you go drinking and one becomes two, two become five, and next thing you know you haven't worked out for 4 days as you recover eating pizza and ice cream on your couch.

Look, differing degrees of individual motivation aside, we are partly creatures of habit and surroundings. Hang out with drug abusers long enough, and your perspective on how one lives will be shifted as the 'soft' drugs you once thought were innocent start seeping into your life. Hang with workaholics long enough and you may make great professional connections but will see other aspects of your life dissipate.

If you want to know how to 'Train Well, Eat Well, Live Well', one of the easiest ways to do this is to simply surround yourself around the people who live this life. One of the best 'kick-in-the-pants' I ever got was when I started hanging around with a roommate of mine, maybe 6 years back, who was an amateur bodybuilder. I was only a hobby lifter, but his group of friends really showed me the lifestyle commitment necessary to succeed at their level. How? Here's how.

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Know the real deal on what is the meaning of wellness, check out this total nutrition and wellness website - TrainEatLive.com.

(1) Take a direct personal interest in all your team members

This can be done by following these simple guidelines:

(i) Know everyone by name
Incredible, but true. I have met too many managers who do not even know the names of their team members. Any corporate structure is like a pyramid. No matter what part of the pyramid you occupy, the strength of the pyramid depends on the bottommost layer and it becomes imperative that you know all the people who report to you directly or indirectly. At least, the best managers have an uncanny knack of remembering peoples' names and making casual personal enquiries about the well being of anyone they meet. Since this kind of behavior is not always experienced it makes the people realize that they are being given personal attention and builds loyalty in the team. It satisfies the basic human craving of being noticed.

In his classic book "Strategies for success", Jim Dornan mentions this very principle in the life of Napoleon Bonaparte, and I quote "An excellent example of this from history can be seen in the way Napoleon Bonaparte interacted with his men, he knew every officer of his army by name. He liked to wander through his camp, meet an officer, greet him by name, and talk about a battle or maneuver in which he knew this officer had been involved. He never missed an opportunity to inquire about a soldier's home town, wife and family. When he did, it always amazed the man to see how much detailed personal information about him his Emperor knew.
Since every officer felt Napoleon's personal interest in him - proved by his statements and questions- it is easy to understand the devotion they all felt for him."

(ii) Connect with everyone
Tough one to explain but let's consider an example. Archimedes discovered the lever concept wherein let's say you wanted to move a heavy rock you would be better advised to use a long rod rather than trying to move it with your bare hands.

Similarly, when it comes to people you are better advised to build relationships first and then steer people in the direction you want them to move. Moreover, in this case, people will follow you willingly. Learn to persuade, not dominate. There is a vast difference between the two phrases 'Can you please ensure that this is done?' and 'You need to complete this work by EOD today.' One is a slight nudge or a request while the other is a kick. No one likes to be kicked.

Unfortunately, most managers are guilty of using "positional authority" to achieve their ends. John Maxwell talks about the various levels of leadership in his book "Developing the leader within you" and it is clear that positional authority is the worst form of leadership.

One way to measure where you stand on the leadership scale is to check how many juniors come to you for career advice and advice in other areas of their life. If people do not approach you, it means that you are not approachable which is a sorry state of affairs. You simply cannot progress if you are unable to connect with people and you can connect with people only when you take a genuine interest in them, their careers, lives, etc.
(iii) Protect your team at all costs
Protect your team from:

• Overenthusiastic sales personnel who try to impose their sales targets on developers
• Powerful stakeholders who impose deadline pressure
• Prima donna developers who start dominating juniors

Have genuine concern and take true care of your team - the best leaders are the ones who go to extreme lengths to protect the interests of their team. Sometimes, this may mean that you need to lock horns with your immediate superiors and higher management.
Remember, your team is your 1st concern.

Address all team concerns proactively - a concern, like a bomb can be handled if detected early. The greater the delay the worse it becomes.

The result - people will start recognizing you as a person in whom they can put their faith and trust and become fiercely loyal.
(iv) Solve problems even if it is outside the scope of the project
One of your key responsibilities as a Project Manager is to clear all the obstacles which come in the way of your team members and prevent them from performing at the optimum level. While most PMs do handle all the nagging problems faced within the office premises, very few actually look beyond that.

On-site projects, for example, are always plagued with problems.Adjusting to the local food, traveling and place of residence, are basic requirements which should be taken care of at the very outset. I recall an onsite project wherein I had to visit a foreign country where the employer provided some excellent facilities like:

• 1 free telephone call every week to keep in touch with the family
• A video conference with family members once in 6 months
• Occasional weekend trips to famous spots in the city
• The buddy concept wherein one local staff whom the on-site person had to interact with regularly was also asked to help him during his stay for other nagging problems - in fact, this was a KRA for the year

Small acts like these ensured that the employees were happy and there was negligible attrition in the project for almost 3 years. Funny, but treating every team member as if he is your biggest customer yields rich dividends in the long run.

(v) Be absolutely honest and transparent
Trust is the foundation stone of all relationships. Break trust and invite disaster. Be it organizational changes, cost cutting, layoffs, or any other news which impacts the team, always be the first one to inform the team openly and accurately.

In "The 7 habits of highly effective people", Stephen Covey mentions the 'Emotional Bank account' and I quote "An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that's been built up in a relationship. It's the feeling of safeness you have with another human being."

Do all your team members feel safe when it concerns you - if not you need to work towards building up the deposits in that emotional bank account with everyone.

(2) Identify your best people
Suppose you have access to a pool of 10 developers and need to identify the best candidate to commence work on a difficult module. If you fail to identify the right person you will face problems later on with unfinished, substandard work and compromised deadlines. I usually use what I would like to call the POC - "Proof of Concept" strategy. Assign the task of developing the POC for a project related problem to the entire pool of available developers. The advantages are:

• The proposed solution will tell you a lot about the individual's capability
• Usually, the turnaround time for any POC is a couple of days - effectively, you do not lose too much time in trying to determine who the right candidate is.

Over a period of time, you will be able to determine what are the strengths and weaknesses of each individual in your team but the POC method always works at the initial stage.

(3) Practice the 80/20 rule
The Pareto principle, in the project management context would mean that 80% of the work is done by 20% of the team. This means that once you have identified your core 20%, make sure you are spending 80% of your time with them.

Sometimes, the weakest developers in your team can end up eating up your entire time and bring down the entire project over a period of time. The same applies to your core team as well - remember, your team is only as strong as it's weakest link. Sometimes, the best developers end up spending most of their time in resolving problems faced by their weakest colleagues. Never allow this to happen.

The Pareto principle is beautifully illustrated in the book "Developing the Leader within you" by Dr. John Maxwell.

(4) Place the right people in the right areas
Over a period of about 3-6 months you will be able to pinpoint people's strengths and weaknesses if you are always involved at the ground level and not just living on updates like average project managers. At this point of time it is important to strengthen the roles for the core 20% as all high-fliers eventually get restless. The following strategy can be used:

• Excellent at analysis, design and finding solutions - needs to be in product development should be assigned the most difficult modules. It's a win-win situation, on one hand the module gets delivered and on the other it also provides enough challenge for the developer and keeps him motivated.

• Excellent at customer interaction and trouble-shooting. Understands the business impact well - needs to be in production support and over a period of time can occupy the team leader's position in production support.

• Excellent at co-ordination and customer interaction - can be assigned the role of an implementation expert. This role mainly involves interacting with other teams like DBAs, change managers, business users, testers, etc. It also demands that the person has the capability to understand an implemented solution entirely. Such a person may not necessarily be good at finding solutions but remember, his role as an implementer does not demand the same most of the time.

Make sure expectations and responsibilities of the assigned roles are made clear to everyone involved. This tells the top performers that their careers are being taken care of. At the same time, it also ensures that the right responsibilities are being delegated to the right people and will eventually result in the project manager having greater control over his time. Designations are limited but roles can always be created.

Sometimes, people may require counseling to understand their own strengths and weaknesses. More often than not, developers are only interested in coding new modules and do not realize where they can excel. This is where your powers of persuasion will be tested.

Delegation is a two-edged sword, do it right and it will allow you to take up more work and lead to an increase in responsibility, do it badly and you will end up answering escalation emails and attending damage-control meetings.

(5) Create career development plans for all your key people
Most project managers never quite get down to working this step, yet, this is the key step to stem attrition and hold on to your best team members. The best people are usually interested in the following aspects of a job:

• Career growth i.e. growth in responsibility
• Growth in income
• Better role

Overall, the best people are mainly interested in knowing if the current job provides them enough opportunities to advance towards their long term career goals which might be of becoming an enterprise software architect, project manager, etc.

The following steps can be followed:

(i) Identify the long term career goals for each individual
Use one to one meetings to identify the long term goals of each individual. This will be possible only if you have connected well with each individual as detailed in the earlier steps - if not, you may not even be able to initiate this meeting. The key here is to identify what aspects of the job the individual likes and where he would eventually like to end up in the field. At the end of this discussion both the individual and you should be clear about the following things about the individual:

• Long term career goal for ex. becoming an enterprise architect
• Current strengths - technical and personal
• Current gaps - technical and personal
• What should be the next step towards moving towards the role of enterprise architect?
• What technology has the candidate not worked on till date and needs exposure?
• What are his training needs which will help him move faster towards his goal?

Make sure all these points are documented well and kept confidential. This discussion becomes the basis of future discussions.

The candidate should start getting a vision and game plan as to what is required to achieve his long term goal and what is the next step. For ex. a software engineer should first aspire to become a Senior Software Engineer followed by Tech lead and so on.

(ii) Map individual goals to project goals
This is an extremely powerful concept. If you have followed project management practices at some level and have a clear idea of the project deliverables and the different technologies which will be used you will be in a position to do work allocation correctly. Before allocating any task, ask yourself:

• Is the individual capable of completing this task?
• Does it provide him "controlled stretch" which means whether the task will force the person to stretch his abilities and grow in the process?
• Does it help him advance towards his long term goal?

Every assignment you allocate to an individual should help him move toward his next career goal. Between the decision to quit and the next job lies the quality of assignments given - it is the project manager who decides the team's attrition rate to a great extent.

"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar

(iii) Create a leadership incubator
If you have done the earlier steps right you will soon reach a point wherein you will have high-performing team members who will continuously take up new challenges. Over a period of time the entire team environment will start reflecting the same.

(iv) Some will still move on
Despite the best of opportunities some people will still choose to move on due to various reasons.

Some will outgrow their immediate environment i.e. your project and will move on - thank them for their contribution. They will always remember you for the role you played in mentoring them.

This is the point where the leadership incubator you have created will be put to good use - others will be ready to occupy the position of the person who has moved on. Succession planning needs to happen at all levels and not just at the topmost management levels.

(v) Believe in everybody - wait for nobody
One word of caution - you can only help someone to rise higher if he himself is interested and committed towards the same. People can be divided into 2 types - types A are the moving cars (ambitious, career oriented people) which only need to be steered in the right direction. Type B are the parked cars (comfortable, stagnating people) which need to be started off or even pushed in some cases. Do not spend too much time on Type B - remember the 80/20 rule.

(vi) Replace yourself eventually
Remember, your influence as a person will grow only when your people grow. You cannot rise unless you replace yourself first. For insecure people this will be hard to digest. You cannot occupy a new chair unless you vacate the chair which you currently occupy.

This principle is beautifully brought out in the book "The 21 irrefutable laws of leadership" by Dr. John Maxwell. 3 laws mentioned in the book are relevant in this context.
The Law of Empowerment - only secure leaders give power to others
The Law of Reproduction - it takes a leader to raise up a leader
The Law of Explosive growth - To add growth, add followers - to multiple, lead leaders

While it goes without saying that reaching this point will take time and effort - this is the only way to go forward and rise higher. The transformation happens within you first and the eventual handing over of higher responsibility to you is only an acknowledgement of what you have already become on the inside.

(6) Praise publicly and criticize privately
Never miss spotting someone doing the right thing - and always acknowledge and reward the same. People literally crave for a kind word and will eventually repeat their best performance when they are recognized for the same.

On the contrary, if a situation demands that some harsh words need to be spoken, then always ensure that this happens in a closed door meeting and never in public. Also, take particular care that you do not violate someone's sense of self-respect but at the same time you make a person realize the gravity of his mistake.

(7) Show empathy, not sympathy
Empathize with people when they miss project deadlines due to personal problems, but do not sympathize.

The dictionary meaning of sympathy is "the feeling of being sorry for someone"," support for or approval of something" and that of empathy is "understand and share the feelings of another". There is a qualitative difference between both. When you show sympathy you will allow a person to drag you into his well of woe whereas when you show empathy you will help or empower him to solve his problem or move on and find someone else to do the job.

Let's face it, any real project will throw up countless problems at the project and at the individual level. Having empathy will ensure that you give everyone a fair chance but overdoing the same will only lead to a bad situation. This is a key factor to consider when a team member's personal problems lead to failed deliverables or compromised deadlines.

(8) Share successes with the team, but take responsibility for failures
Always ensure that the top performers get public recognition for their efforts. This is easy in organizations where you have a quarterly rewards and recognition program. In organizations where this is not the case, the project manager needs to be creative. One way to do this is to be a good promoter of people, this leads to people becoming more and more motivated and striving to consistently meet the high standards they themselves have set.

On the other hand, all failures need to be handled internally. Never reprimand the team members responsible for any mistakes in public. Failure makes a person feel miserable anyway - and highlighting the same too much only adds to his woes. The Project Manager needs to play a key role here in shielding his people.

This is the hallmark of all great leaders. In "Wings of Fire:Autobiography of Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam" an incident is mentioned wherein Dr.Kalam took total responsibility for the SLV-3 (Satellite Launch Vehicle) failure in front of a big group of scientists. The book also mentions another incident when he asked his team members to present their individual reports on the areas they were working on rather than he doing it himself thus giving the team an opportunity for recognition in front of the scientific community. No wonder he is considered one of the most successful scientists to have led India's space and missile programme.

(9) Organize trainings
The training budget is a powerful tool in your hands, use it wisely. Create the training calendar in the beginning of the year keeping in mind the following requirements:

• Technical requirements of the project
• Individual training requirements to boost career growth
• Any gap in skills that needs to be addressed

Quote often it happens that a year passes by without the organizing of any proper training programs and the last quarter is packed with training programs of little value to the individuals involved and the organization itself. Never allow this to happen.

Internal training programs can also be conducted by the various individuals involved in the project on technologies used in the project itself or otherwise. This is an opportunity for personal growth for many individuals.

Trainings always give individuals a good release from project pressure and also helps to reinforce the conviction that the organization is serious about their future and increasing their skills.

(10) Celebrate phase completion
Whenever a major project phase is over, celebrate. Put the staff welfare budget to good use. Nine pin bowling matches, group movie outings are opportunities which allow people to recharge their batteries. It also provides ample opportunities to build team spirit and strengthen relationships.

(11) Balance the workload well
Ensure that no single individual is getting over burdened. This also calls for proactive leave management of the entire team. On occasions you may also need to force some workaholics to take leave.

It is small acts such as these which help you make small deposits in the emotional bank account which we talked about earlier. And these deposits reap rich dividends when the time comes.

(12) Do not ask for too many updates
Do not be a status update maniac - trust your people to be responsible and deliver results. Ask for an update only when necessary - the best people will usually themselves keep you apprised of the status of the tasks they are working on.

(13) Lead by example
Always be a person worthy of emulation. Set high standards for yourself and do not impose any rule on the team which you do not follow yourself. People automatically follow what they see you do on a daily basis and not what you tell them to do. If you cannot be the 1st person to enter office at least be the last person to leave after a hard day's work and do this only after personally ensuring that your entire team has left for the day. Always walk the extra mile for the team - always come to the forefront when required be it project problems, technical problems, any problem which hampers progress. When people observe you walking the extra mile consistently a wonderful chain reaction happens. Some of your elite team members start following your example and this leads to a multiplication of efforts and results.

Consider the equation:
1 person = 1 extra mile
10 persons = 10 extra miles

Do you think this will have a big project impact, you bet !

As John Maxwell says, "The right to lead is earned, not given." In his classic book "Right to lead" Dr. Maxwell mentions an incident wherein Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf stepped into a mine field to save an injured soldier and the ripple effect it had on all the people in his division. No wonder he was called upon to lead the critical operation during the Gulf war.

True leaders always emerge out of nowhere when a major crisis develops.

(14) Motivate the maintenance team
Quite often, you will be faced with a situation wherein the production support team starts to feel that they are a group of 2nd class citizens and will develop an inferiority complex and get demotivated which can have a serious impact on the service delivery function. Motivating the maintenance team is a tough task but I have used the following techniques to good effect:

• Emphasize the fact to the maintenance team that since they interact with the business users on a daily basis, they are the custodians of the image of IT more than anybody else, including you. The responsibility of the development team ends with project success, but the maintenance team is mainly responsible for ensuring that operations run smoothly and ongoing business success.

• The job, contrary to the traditional belief is tough. More often than not the maintenance team is at the receiving end of bad design decisions taken during development and has to put in quite a lot of performance enhancing fixes in place as the usage of the system increases.

• Only maintenance engineers understand a system and the business domain in totality. This is due to the sheer nature of the work. Development engineers never usually seek to understand modules outside the scope of what has been allocated to them.

• The crucial life skill of crisis management - taking decisions under mounting pressure can only be learnt in production support. This can never be learnt in development where someone senior will shield you.

When maintenance engineers understand the above points, they gradually begin to understand the value of the work which they do on a daily basis and where it fits in the bigger picture. And once people realize that their work is being valued they usually stop complaining.

The same point is beautifully brought out in Sir Winston Churchill's life during the Second World War. Dr.John Maxwell calls this the Law of the Big Picture in his book "The 17 indispensable laws of teamwork." The book mentions how Sir Churchill managed to motivate coal miners to continue working on the inglorious task of working in the mines against opting to fight in the war on the frontline. A must read account if you are serious about going up on the leadership scale.

Moreover, there are ample career options in production support as well. With most organizations embracing ITIL and standards such as ValIT gaining ground,the service delivery function is being seen as a key provider of ongoing business value. Once maintenance engineers realize that they are not in a dead-end situation and career growth options are available they will not display negative attitude. This is where the project manager plays a key role. Organize ITIL trainings and watch how the maintenance team starts enjoying their role.
(15) Sack non-performers tactfully
If you have recruited the right person, you will never be faced with this option. However, on occasions you will be called upon to do the inevitable. How do you still retain trust and loyalty in the team? The following strategies have helped me:

• Ensure that you give the non-performer a fair chance - try to place him in an area which involves routine work and which does not involve much thinking. Many routine maintenance tasks involve only log monitoring - poor performers can be accommodated in such areas.

• Use counseling to good effect - give the person a chance to close gaps and raise his performance to an acceptable level
• Ensure that all the other team members are well aware that the guy is failing to meet the minimum requirements of the job. This needs to be done in a subtle manner - it should not be too obvious.
• Exercise all options before giving the final notice - and ensure that all the other team members are well aware that there really was no other option available.

Maintaining transparency in such matters ensures that there is no loss of trust and loyalty in the team. People realize that no one can be continuously paid for doing nothing.

In an interview on CNBC, Mr. Narayan Murthy, the chief mentor of Infosys mentioned that the best leaders have the ability to cast vision and the best people need to see themselves growing into important roles and achieving bigger goals in that vision. This is the best strategy to retain people.

Sainath Sherigar, PMP is a practising Project Manager and has diverse experience in leading global projects from inception to final delivery and closure.

You can email him at sainath.sherigar@gmail.com

Protecting you and your family from Super Bugs like MRSA and Staph largely depends on how you maintain, balance and protect the skin. Although topical antibiotic, antiseptic and antibacterial products are in wide supply these days, the problem continues to worsen. So much so, over 19,000 Americans died last year from flesh eating, deadly bacteria that gained access to its victim's internal environment via a minor cut or abrasion.

Because bacteria are capable of asexual reproduction and binary fission, it didn't take long to adapt their immunity to the Broad Spectrum Antibiotics we've all had prescribed for us at one time or another. However, this knowledge hasn't deterred Pharmaceutical companies from researching and developing stronger strains of antibiotics to stay in a race they know they can never win. Any solution that stays focused on killing the symptom and not the cause is like mopping up a floor without turning the faucet off first.

One thing the medical and holistic community has always agreed on is the need to improve basic sanitation; frequent hand washing cited as the most important act. However, what you clean your hands and nails with is more important than the regimen itself. While OSHA advocates and demands the use of petro-chemical derivatives found in soaps, disinfectants and sanitizers mandated by the State for widespread use in all regulated institutions, it's no wonder these facilities are the hardest hit by infectious bacterial virus' and disease.

Over the decades, Chemical companies have found many profitable ways to peddle petroleum bi-products for profit rather than get saddled with the expense of dumping or disposing of these dangerous substances in a safe responsible manner. With so many politicians elected into power on the backs of chemical company contributions, millions of trusting consumers have been blinded (in many cases literally) into believing that anything the FDA deems safe and necessary must be so. It doesn't matter that the FDA requires that all consumer products openly disclose active ingredients on the back of a label when approximately 5,000 carcinogenic ingredients can "legally" be omitted for one "constitutional" reason or another. At the end of the day, it comes down to us using our intuitive faculties and power of reason. Unless we participate and take full responsibility for what we put on, in and around our body, things are likely to get worse.

Although it might seem like a daunting task to right the oh so many wrongs, like anything, it's about taking one step at a time and finding out as much as you can on the subject. The cool thing about bacteria is they are the ultimate workaholics and take their jobs very seriously. If you consider we use them to clean up oil spills, break down garbage, fight disease, produce energy, process food, clean up water ways, kill aliens (remember the War of the Worlds?) then you start to see that they are only capable of reacting in direct proportion to the jobs we are forcing the to do. Because Super Bugs are anaerobic or thrive in the absence of oxygen and a majority of common personal care and household products are made from chemically inappropriate ingredients devoid of any oxygen molecules, bacteria are forced to proliferate and adapt accordingly. So if super bugs thrive in the absence of oxygen, it would make sense that they would weaken in the presence of oxygen; right?

Surely if it was that simple, it would be all over the news. It might even be worthy enough to get a segment on Oprah, What gives? Well, the problem my friend is twofold:

1. The Media would have to cut off their nose to spite their face by exposing and ruining their cash cows - the advertisers.

2. There is no real money to be made if a product cannot be patented for exclusive rights and distribution, thereby necessitating the need to use synthetic components.

By now, you may be feeling a bit gutted to know that the proverbial wool has been pulled over the eyes of consumers for all these decades and overwhelmed at the prospect of having to rethink everything you believed was right. The great thing about a free economy (well almost) is we get to vote which products stay and what goes using our wallets. To fight this at a legislative level would be futile as some lobbyists are given pockets as deep as they are tarnished.

So how do we combat this dire situation and protect our families from unnecessary infection? By getting back to basics and participating in our own rescue. It's time to ask the right questions and demand rational answers. When it comes to self health, onus is on each of us to learn and abide by the natural laws that govern our physical selves. Fortunately, there is now plenty of great information and resources ready and willing to help you in these areas. Now that the blinders are off and your awareness peeked, you will begin to see them everywhere. Good people running great companies who produce phenomenal goods and services because they have the passion and moral integrity to want to do so.

In the meantime, here is your first holistic recipe All Purpose Sanitizing Cleanser to help get you started.

For more information on natural, healthy shaving and skincare solutions, please visit me at http://www.shavinggallery.com/shavedoctor where you will get a fresh new prospective on body wellness and the beauty industry at large.

We live in an era that worships a treadmill way of life in the workplace. Professionals who aspire to climb the corporate ladder typically feel compelled to jump on the workaholics bandwagon. While it may start out rather innocently, those who engage in such craziness soon find themselves sucked into a big hole, paying a very big price. Is this YOU?

Initially, there may be valid reasons for taking a huge breath, swallowing hard, and diving into those deep and dark waters. After all, how else can you demonstrate your uncommon commitment to the company of your choice? But soon you discover you cannot come up for air, cannot take a break, cannot wind down even for a day. Now you are addicted to this thing called "work". Why does this happen?

You seek attention and pity.

You want people to notice those 2:00 AM emails. You hope somebody is concerned about those long hours you keep. You need folks to appreciate your sacrifices. Secretly, you pray that others wonder how many years you can maintain this pace without crumbling. Do you see the focus is on YOU? It's so much more about YOU than about job expectations. An occasional middle of the night message is fine; a steady flow of them is nuts.

You live to outshine your colleagues.

Not content to meet or exceed your own professional standards, you constantly compete against colleagues, especially those you dislike. You want to prove to the boss that YOU are the marathon runner, not Tom or Sue. YOU are the one who will endure, suffer, and sell your soul to the organization. YOU are the person who is superhuman, who rarely eats or sleeps. Again, this view is largely about YOU. How much do you actually win by shoving Tom or Sue into the shadows?

You strive to convince yourself that YOU are exceptional.

For some reason you have above average ego needs that never get satiated. Maybe even some need to self-aggrandize. An ongoing anxiety whispers doubts into your ear from morning to night. Perhaps your craving to be recognized as better than others stems from a deep seated feeling of inadequacy. It's worth considering. You don't need to be unique; just be your best self. Develop your talents in ways that truly serve others, and that alone allows you to make a positive mark in the world.

You desperately need to dodge pain.

You're in the middle of a messy divorce. Or maybe you've got a teen in trouble. Your mother has cancer. You fight daily with your partner. Your abusive childhood still drags you down. Ring any bells? Working around the clock provides a convenient escape from acute or chronic sadness, frustration, or fear. Working until you can't think straight numbs the pain. If this describes YOU, don't delude yourself into believing you've got the company's best interests at heart. Face the fact that you're using company business as an excuse for avoiding nasty family issues. In the process, you end up compounding your already thumping headache.

Regardless of why you run the treadmill, you have lots to lose. Whether short term or long term, these losses are serious:

You lose clarity about your personal values and priorities.

Everything becomes cloudy when your hours are consumed only by work. If you once understood what mattered most to you, that clarity is now gone. The deception lies in thinking that you really are on target by doing your job nonstop. All of this gets very seductive if you aren't careful. When you no longer know what you value, you can't set priorities. When you aren't sure of your priorities, you just fill up the time doing things that may not serve you. Life becomes futile without a road map.

You forfeit quality relationships with family and friends.

Workaholism kills relationships. How much time do you invest in your spouse, significant other, children, and friends? When you are with them, are you present physically but not emotionally? Do you find yourself reflecting on problems at work instead of immersing yourself in their company? Or maybe you hardly show up at all, often missing your son's baseball games and your wife's birthday celebrations. Do you see yourself here? If your wife dies in a car accident, count on being consumed by regret. You can't rewind the clock. What is done is done. However, today you can choose something different. What will that be?

You give up control of your calendar.

What determines YOUR calendar? Obligations? Little tasks? Time wasters? Meetings that have nothing to do with the big picture? Time becomes a burden rather than a blessing when YOU fail to take charge of your 24/7. Today, everybody's mantra seems to be: "I'm so busy." Busy dong what? Do you honestly know what you are doing and why you are doing it? Or are you floating along like a leaf in the breeze, with no destination in mind?

You sacrifice your health.

Treadmill stress increases your chances of a heart attack, stoke, and/or sudden cardiac arrest. It impacts your sleep, digestion, memory, and ability to focus. It makes you vulnerable to colds and sore throats. Taking little or no time to relax and refresh has notable consequences. Is this the kind of existence you've designed for yourself? If so, you may be cutting years off your life. Even if you don't shorten its length, you may reduce the quality. Why pay the price of chronic physical illness that robs you of zest and joy? Why turn into a mentally compromised zombie? Whatever happens to you, know that you lose.

Keep in mind that your boss won't thank you someday for choosing the life of a partially functioning invalid. Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your goals and direction.

Sylvia Hepler, Owner and President of Launching Lives, is an executive and career coach/adviser based in South Central Pennsylvania. She connects with clients primarily by phone with in-between emails if desired. Her ideal clients are senior level corporate executives and nonprofit executive directors who are willing to commit to working steadily and diligently to move from their current status of stuckness to greater clarity, improved self-confidence, increased skill, and deeper sense of purpose. Her mission is to support executives as they get unstuck, reduce unnecessary suffering, and increase balance in their lives. Ms. Hepler's background includes: teaching, public speaking, retail sales, freelance writing, and executive leadership of a 14 county nonprofit organization. She has a working knowledge of staff supervision, Board development, Quality Management, SWOTT Analysis, the hiring and firing of employees, mission/vision development, networking, and organizational collaboration. Ms. Hepler demonstrates keen insights into human behaviors, exceptional ability to prioritize projects and tasks, and bulls eye skill around matching appropriate communication strategies with particular situations. Her deep empathy coupled with a no-nonsense approach yields swift, noteworthy results with most coaching clients. PRODUCTS: Ms. Hepler has written a "Special Report" entitled, "FIVE FATAL FLAWS in EXECUTIVE THINKING", produced an audio CD on "making change", and launched a monthly tele seminar series called "Solutions By Sylvia". CONTACT: Sylvia@launchinglives.biz 717-761-5457

In the last post, I touched on some of the ways you can get the word out about your home based business. Continuing to do those things on a regular basis will definitely be effective and you will have a successful home base business. In this post, I want to cover some of the day to day operations you should (and should not) be doing so you will be able to enjoy some of those great benefits of having a home business.

There are many different types of people out there: workaholics, procrastinators, lazy, motivated, etc. What I am going to suggest here will be for all types of personalities. As a home business owner, we don't want you working 24-7 and burning out within months of starting a home based business and we also don't want you being lazy and only working a few hours per week. If you are planning on doing paid online surveys or maybe data entry jobs as extra income, then a few hours per week will do. These suggestions will help you to be effective as well.

1. Set a Schedule (when to work) This is probably the most important step to being effective. You need to set a time to work and a time to play! It is very easy to get distracted when you are working at home: kids, TV, phone calls from friends...set up a time when all you will be doing is work, even if it is only for an hour. For me personally with 2 kids in sports and summer vacation just around the corner, I set my schedule more on a weekly even down to daily basis at times. It does vary but I still have one and use it. So give yourself ample time to work but also give yourself time to play, it is very important that you do this! Now, stick with that schedule!

2. Set a Schedule (what to work on) As a home based business owner, you have all the responsibilities of the business. For those of you doing data entry jobs online or paid online surveys then the only thing you need to do is set the time when you will be working. For all others, there is advertising, budgeting, social networking, article writing, bookmarking, blogging and doing your actual work! This can become overwhelming if you have no plan or schedule. Allow yourself time to work on each part of your business. Example: today I am working from 9 to 1, I will post in my blog from 9 to 10, bookmark it from 10-11, then do social networking from 11-1. Once you have everything set, you won't waste time wondering what to do, you will be doing it and doing it effectively.

3. A Place to Work Definitely the least important thing you should consider, but still important. To be effective, you need to be organized. Having an office with a desk and a file cabinet to keep all business related material will keep you organized. Again, you don't want to waste time looking for papers when you could be making money working. And if you have kids...keep them out of YOUR space! I wrote that this shouldn't be on the top of you list because while I do have an office with a desk, good chair, file cabinet, etc., I like to move around occasionally. I have a good wireless network and laptop that allows me to move anywhere around the house, even out to my pool so in the summer when my kids are swimming, I can be there to watch them and still be able to work. But just to break up monotony, I will work in the dining room, living room and kitchen from time to time. Do whatever works best for you.

I hope these tips will help you become very effective with your home business. All successful home based businesses are run effectively. So set when you will work and what you will be working on and where you will work on it. Have a game plan and set your day to day schedule and most importantly - stick with it! If you follow these guidelines, you will be able to enjoy all the perks that come with having your own home based business.

Please visit http://www.bizideasforhome.com for information on how to start and become successful with a home based business.

People are always very interested in how much money someone makes. Affiliate marketers are no exceptions and there really is no limit to the amount of money you can make. It all depends how much time and effort you are willing to put in. Some affiliate marketers are making $0 a day, some $50 a day, some $500 a day and some people make $5000 a day.

Before we go any further I want to make one thing very clear. success with affiliate marketing does not come overnight and you really have to work very hard for a long time to make $5000 a day for example. All the most successful marketers are all workaholics and work hard every single day.

The amount of money you can make can depend greatly of you budget. If you have a small budget and you don t have a lot of money, then you have to start with free marketing methods like article writing, blogging, forum marketing and such. It takes a lot more effort ant time to have success with these methods. But they are very effective if you keep writing articles and participate in forums. You can make $100 a day within just a few months just with article marketing.

If you have a bigger budget then you can start with Pay Per Click (PPC) advertising. PPC means that if someone clicks on your ad, then it will cost you a certain amount. So it is very important to learn about PPC advertising before you start, because you can easily lose money.

But the biggest factor that determines how much money you will make, is joining a training program that will help you success. It is very hard to expect success right away if you are a beginner and all alone. The best program that offers you the information, help, tools and support to succeed is Wealthy Affiliates. Some Wealthy Affiliate members are already making over $8000 a month after only 6 months of being a member.

There is NO program, service, e-book, or product anywhere online that is similar to Wealthy Affiliate. Regardless of your experience level, we will teach you how to improve your current financial situation. Whether you are looking to earn an extra $500 a month or an extra $15,000 per month, our system provides you with a blueprint of how to succeed in making money online. If you join Wealthy Affiliates you will get Beating Adwords, a $67 BONUS for free! Click Here to learn more

While growing up, I always thought of my parents as "workaholics". They would normally get up very early to start working and turn in really late every night. They would spend the whole day juggling business and personal chores, which leaves them too worn out to do anything pleasurable (besides sleeping!) at the end of the day.

Looking back now, I realized that they just didn't have the resources to get an affordable personal assistant. Having a personal assistant then was just too costly that I would probably have to drop out of private school for them to afford it.

Luckily for us, those primitive days are long gone.

Today's technology allows us easy access to affordable virtual assistants, making it possible for anyone to achieve a good balance between work and personal life.

Having a virtual assistant is so practical that it has helped boost the outsourcing industry.

If you're in need of a virtual assistant, but unsure what to delegate, here are some ideas:

1. Email Management

A former colleague used to complain that emails take up half of her workday. She just couldn't accomplish anything beyond checking and replying to emails every morning.

If you have the same problem, a virtual assistant can sort your emails. This way you would only need to handle emails that require your personal attention. Given the proper instructions, your VA can deal with the rest of your emails.

2. Customer Support

Everyone in business knows that keeping customers happy is vital to a company's success. However, maintaining great customer relations entails more work than we have time for.

A virtual assistant can provide customer support. They can call customers for follow-ups or provide customer assistance when needed.

3. Calendar Management

Keeping track of meetings and scheduling appointments can be stressful. Wouldn't you rather use your time in something more productive, like developing moneymaking ideas?

A virtual assistant can manage your calendar for you. They can schedule your business or personal appointments. Through the use of shared calendars, you can check your schedule anytime. VAs usually send reminders for your appointments the day before. And if you require, they can give you wake up calls too.

4. Travel Arrangements

Whether it's a business or leisure trip, booking for the most economical flights and looking for suitable accommodations can be very time consuming.

Guess what? A virtual assistant can take care of this for you.

5. List Building, Research & Data Mining

Building a list, researching and data mining are very tedious work. The legwork involved can last for weeks or even months.

Why not pass it on to a virtual assistant?

These are basic services a VA can provide.

Just imagine how much freedom you can have simply by ridding your daily schedule of such mundane tasks. You'll have more time to spend on more important matters.

Given the choice I'm pretty sure my parents would have hired a virtual assistant then.

Isobel Joaquin, Virtual Assistant
Pepper Virtual Assistant Services

T 1 323 8922339
F 1 323 8922248
info@peppervirtualassistant.com
http://www.peppervirtualassistant.com

Money is one of the leading topics of marital arguments, and it's not surprising. We each have a money style - a collection of feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we learned from our parents and other significant people in our lives. When two people make a commitment together, these money styles can clash. How they come together determines whether the result will be frustration or teamwork.

So how do you tell when disagreements are just difference in money styles, and when they are creating a serious problem in a relationship? Here are five things to look at.

1. Communication. Couples with different money styles can talk things over. It might not always be comfortable, but they can usually find some common ground. If instead you find your self arguing about spending, saving, and budgeting, then you may have a money problem.
2. Feelings. Money is a resource, a way to trade what you do for what you need. Money has only the meaning we give it. So if you find yourself feeling afraid, guilty, ashamed, anxious, or depressed, you may have a money problem.
3. Openness. Couples with different money styles can negotiate their differences. If you finding yourself keeping secrets about what you spend or what you owe, you may have a money problem.
4. Patterns. Sometimes people buy things they don't need, or regret a purchase. But if overspending, increasing debt, and "workaholism" are patterns in your relationship, you probably have a money problem.
5. Control. Making a budget and sticking to it are key skills for every couple. Can you hold off on spending when you don't have the cash? If you can't agree with your partner and stick to your budget, you may have a money problem.

How to Resolve Money Conflicts

• Talk. Share your feelings about your financial dreams and goals, and also about your past. How was money handled in your family? Where did you learn your money patterns? The more you and your partner share, the more deeply you will understand each other, and the more you will be able to work together around money.
  
• Learn. You have mastered many things in your life, and you can master money management. Start by learning where your money goes now. Develop a saving strategy, and increase the amount you save each month until you reach your goal. Read about investment strategies, find one that works for you, and start small.
  
• Plan. Together with your partner, create a vision of what you want your life to be like. Set a few specific goals, and write them down -- people are much more likely to meet goals that are in writing. Decide what resources you will need to meet those goals. Then create a budget, track expenses, and design action steps.
  
• Evaluate. Track the progress you make, and post the results in a place where you can see them. Update your goals together every month.
  
• Get help when you need it, from a financial planner or a marriage counselor. A Financial Planner can help you set realistic financial goals, plan for retirement and emergencies, make complex financial decisions, such estate planning, managing taxes, and make investment decisions. A Couples Therapist can help you talk about money respectfully, create a vision of the life you want together, help you balance work and family life, help you be more aware of the money choices you make, and help you stick to the financial plans you make.

If you work together to solve your money problems, then you can honor each other's money style. When you do, you'll find that despite your different viewpoints, you can work as a team. You might even end up with more money as a result.

Subscribe to my newsletter and get FREE high-quality articles on relationships delivered directly to your inbox. To subscribe, go to http://LaDouceurMFT.com

Pat LaDouceur, MFT helps people build great relationships. Her methods are designed to get a high rate of success in a short amount of time. She helps couples solve money problems. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with an office near Berkeley, CA.

The practice of Feng Shui is often referred to as a system for living in "harmony with nature." For me, this explanation conjures up images of fields and forests, when in fact most of us are living and working indoors. Does this mean you have to spend more time outdoors to achieve the kind of balance Feng Shui adherents are referring to? Does this mean that apartment dwellers and workaholics cannot enjoy good Feng Shui? Absolutely not!

While it is enviable that some people can spend a lot of time out doors and luxurious homes are often built in the scenic mountains or at the beach, there is also an unseen, powerful aspect of nature going on right inside your home, right inside every single structure built on this planet. The Chinese call it "chi" and East Indians call it "prana." These energies exist within our own bodies and they also exist in our surroundings. There is a constant ebb and flow and co-mingling of energies inside our bodies and our immediate physical environment. And that is one reason why having a wood framed bed could have a different affect on you than a wrought iron bed frame. There is a transferring of energies from one object to another.

This is also why a blue room will have a different affect on your body than a yellow room. Everything in your physical environment can affect your body, intellect and emotions.

Many people have had an introduction to Feng Shui through the media and what gets discussed most often is the concept of "chi flow." This often boils down to furniture arrangement and architectural features in how they affect invisible air currents within our home or work place. These energy flows are determined to be healthful or hurtful depending on a number of factors. For example, we like to arrange a desk so that you can see and sense incoming people into a room. Having your back to a door can be unsettling and the chi flow will be hitting your back. If there is substantial clutter in a room, it will inhibit a healthy circulation of the air currents in the room, eventually resulting in ill health for the occupant.

What is less known about traditional Feng Shui is how we can alter the magnetic field of a room using raw elements. These elements are water, wood, fire, earth and metal.

An example of water is a fountain. Wood can be a live plant. Fire is real fire burning or a large display of red color. Earth is something really made or stone or soil. Metal can be copper, brass, bronze, gold or silver. Our own bodies possess ratios of these five elements as well, with our bones being an example of the earth element.

A common misunderstanding about Five-Element-Theory, even amongst Feng Shui enthusiasts, is that you can create balance by representing all these elements together in a room. This is the furthest thing from the truth. As elements, they have both a productive and a destructive relationship with each other. For example, water nurtures wood the way a plant is watered and it grows. This is an example of a productive relationship. However, water can destroy fire, so they are rarely put together in the same room. And putting all the elements together will cancel out all their affects. So, to learn how to use the elements powerfully and correctly, one must train in the traditional Feng Shui schools in the same way that one studies Chinese medicine over a period of time and with qualified instructors.

In Feng Shui philosophy, we want to live in harmony with our own environment and the good news is that we can control a lot of those energies. Given that there is so much in this world which we cannot control, Feng Shui principles can provide both protection from harmful circumstances as well as ways to enhance areas that are already good, making them even better.

Beginning in February of 2009 (for one year), there will be a particularly harmful energy residing in the west sector of every person's home. This is one of nine different annual energies that can be calculated. And by using a compass and learning how to divide up a floor plan, you can learn how to locate the west sector of your home. For some people this is going to land in a relatively unimportant area like a bathroom or dining room. For others, this harmful annual energy will have a big influence if the west sector is someone's bedroom or entrance. This annual energy is related to sickness, depression, bleeding or miscarriage. It is a type of earth energy that is obviously considered negative and it needs to be weakened or depleted so that it will not have an influence on the occupants. Metal happens to be the element which will drain or weaken this annual influence in the West in 2009. This is just one example of using Five Element Theory correctly and strategically to improve health and well-being. What would be a disaster waiting to happen would be a large display of red color (fire element) in the West in 2009 because fire strengthens earth and you do not want to strengthen a visiting energy that can cause sickness, depression, or bleeding.

Every house is a combination of positive and negative influences, permanent as well as transitory. This is why Feng Shui can be called a predictive art like astrology: because some permanent energies are determined based on when a structure is built and others come and go with yearly cycles.

Join Kartar Diamond of Feng Shui Solutions for local or long distance assistance. You can learn feng shui from an experienced expert or you can have Diamond assess your space and give you all the answers you need to balance and enhance your own personal or professional surroundings.
Visit us on the web at http://www.FengShuiSolutions.net

For the past 10 years I have lived a fast paced lifestyle. Workaholism was my addiction. In my twenties, when I started my business I would work 7 days a week 10 hour days, then party and drink on the weekend, and not even think twice. I was driven and committed to creating financial wealth for myself. That all came to a screeching halt about 2 years ago when I reached a "wall." This term is commonly used in running but it clearly relates to our day to day lives.

When you reach the "wall" it feels like you can't go on anymore. That every ounce of your energy has been sucked out of your body.

I was working on franchising my business and moving into rapid growth, and I suddenly couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I had reached my "wall." Not only was I tired all the time, I had lost all my motivation and desire to do anything. Getting out of bed in the morning was a chore. This really scared me, suddenly my businesses began to decline and I started making very poor business and personal decisions. I felt as though everything was difficult and just getting through the day was a HUGE effort and energy drain. It kept getting worse as I continued to stay in denial with my signs and symptoms of stress and burnout. I refused to allow myself to slow down and admit that I was burned out. It wasn't until I was forced into bed rest and crying every single day that I stopped and did some re-evaluation.
I decided it was time to simplify my life and create more space and time for enjoyment of my life and health. I sold one of my businesses and took 5 months off. Literally I just did the minimum to get by. I slept, read and nurtured my body mind and soul for 5 months.

I have since fully recovered with many lessons learned. I realize that I will never be able to work at the pace that I used to work in my twenties. I honestly don't want to work at that pace. Now I make sure I get plenty of rest, relaxation, down time and play time. I realize that my health and well-being is the greatest assets that I have and if I lose this then I will really be in trouble in my life. No amount of financial wealth can give you your health, if you have depleted your adrenals, and body.

Signs and symptoms of stress are not always obvious, you may mask the symptoms thinking that fatigue, headaches, forgetfulness, or illness are just a fact of life. Until you reach a mental breakdown, you will continue to keep forcing yourself towards chronic fatigue, unaware that your body is showing you signs and symptoms of stress. Generally whatever our vice is will we do more of when we are stressed. For example do you shop when you are stressed? Do you eat? Do you workout? Do you drink? If you find yourself doing more of these things almost excessively, that could be a clear sign that you are stressed out. Watch your own body for signs of stress.

Physical signs and symptoms of stress:

• Frequent illness or colds
• Headaches
• Back Pain
• Chest Pain
• Heart Palpitations
• High Blood Pressure
• Sleep Problems
• Digestive Issues
• Lack of Sexual Drive
• Eating too much or too little
• Alcohol or Drug Abuse

Emotional signs and symptoms of stress:

• Forgetfulness
• Restlessness
• Lack of Focus
• Getting Angered or Irritated Easily
• Sadness
• Worry or Feeling Anxious
• Feeling insecure
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Depression
• Inability to process information
• Feeling helpless

Sharon Hwang has worked in the wellness field for over 10 years. She has a M.A. in Psychotherapy and owns, The Wellness Center, Inc., which is located inside a Whole Foods grocery store, is an integrative center that offers, Acupuncture, Massage, Naturopathic Medicine and Chiropractic Care.
For more tips on how to manage stress go to:wellnessdenver.com.
For more tips on how to manage stress go to:adrenal-failure/ways-to-relieve-stress.com.

Years ago when I was a yoga teacher, I was facilitating a class in meditation and was looking around to see how people were doing. One person in the class looked completely freaked out, distracted, and utterly puckered up. Tight. Resisting with every fiber of her being. I walked over to her, and whispered, "Are you okay?" She shook her head and said, "I'm so scared that if I let go, the devil will come in."

Now, maybe that sounds extreme to you. Maybe you don't believe in the devil. But I think there is a metaphor here for what I think many people believe: if they get still or quiet with themselves long enough, they're going to figure out that deep down, they've got some bad stuff going on. We'll figure out we're depraved. We'll figure out we're awful. But here's what I believe, and listen to me closely: it's not what's in the empty space that's giving us the problems: it's the all fear and the running away from it that screws us up.

Good News!

Here's the good news: if we face that fear, it transforms everything. And meditation is daily practice for facing your worst fears. You sit, every day, with the clutter of your thoughts. Instead of choosing to run from your fear, you decide to approach it with curiosity, befriend it, transform it. It no longer has power over you. Because believe me, if we can all face our worst fears about ourselves, the state of the economy starts to look like small potatoes.

Sitting Still With Yourself

Think about it: if every person on earth were able to sit down and look at themselves honestly, gain an understanding and say, ok, here's the stuff I've done that I'm not happy with. Here are the parts of me that are ugly. Here's how I've hurt others, and I'm going to have humility and ask for forgiveness. Here are the moments when I am scared of being alone and don't know how to ask for reassurance, and strike out instead. Here's where I was sad, but reacted with anger because I hate feeling helpless. Here is where I've been afraid that my life might be meaningless, and I've reacted by running from that fear with workaholism, or eating too much or staying busy or simply giving up. Here's where I've been hateful or mean or thought embarrassing thoughts. Here's where I've tried to gain power over others because I'm scared. Here's the part of me that is really scared, deep down, that when I die, I will be alone and no one will remember me. Here's the part of me that fears that no one loves me who I really am. Here's the part of me that fears that I don't even know who that is some days.

Think if everyone could do that and then (here's the best part) they could forgive themselves. They could say, OK, I have this stuff, and it's not perfect, but it's just part of being human. I did the best I could with the understanding I had at that moment. Now I have more understanding, so I'm going to try to do things differently. I might screw up, but I'm willing to say it (and forgive myself again). And since everyone else is human too, I'm going to forgive them as well. When people get angry or scared or sad, I'm going to remember how it feels to be that way, and I'm going to feel compassion for them. I'm going to remember that everyone, everyone, on earth is in exactly the same boat I am, in feeling conflicted and confused and scared at times.

Think about it-what would happen if we weren't scared of ourselves any more. What could we do? What relationships would we end if we weren't afraid of being alone? What bad habits would go away if we didn't have to numb our selves from ourselves?

Could The World Be Different?

I think that everything and everyone on earth would be different. I'm going to make a bold statement. I believe that even Dick Cheney could be transformed if he were willing to face his pain and his demons and atone for the ways in which he has caused suffering in the world (it's a big IF, of course). These are strong words from me, as I have been known to refer to him as the vortex of evil embodied in human form.

Meditation is practice for sitting with yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly, it's all there. It's nothing elaborate. You don't need to wear patchouli or burn incense or sit in the lotus pose. You can sit or lie down. You can be quiet or you can listen to music. You need only a willingness to risk facing what you might find when you tune in.

Heather Jassy, MA CCC, is a personal coach, therapist, and founder of Empty Space Coaching.

What is a Workaholic?

A workaholic is someone who is addicted to work. This does not necessarily imply that a person enjoys their work just that they feel compelled to work. Although there is no generally accepted medical condition, a workaholic is often linked to forms of stress or an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The term "workaholic" tends to carry a negative connotation, although it is sometimes used to express a devotion to one's career in positive terms. In the true negative sense, a workaholic is known to neglect their family and other social relations. Workaholics live for their work, spend extra hours at work and often take work home to complete. Work becomes their sole reason for existence.

Causes of Workaholism

Workaholism could be caused by three factors:

1. Society. With downsizings and consolidations in our current society, Americans are working more hours per week. Studies have shown that as many as 40 percent of employees forego their vacation time for fear that they may not have a job to come back to if they take time off.

2. Technology. The onslaught of emails, instant messaging and cell phones makes it more and more difficult for employees to disconnect from their work environment.

3. Money. Americans in general are driven to earn more and more money whether this is due to a desire for materialistic pleasures, or because we simply must work hard to earn enough money to support our families.

Regardless of the reasons, being a workaholic can lead to a serious condition that can result in the decline and destruction of a family, as well as serious stress-related health problems. Keep in mind that someone who works hard is not a workaholic. Rather, a workaholic is someone who only thinks about work. It is their sole reason for being and the only thing that makes them happy. Workaholics have no personal time and are not able to functional well outside of a work environment.

Hilary Basile is a writer for MyGuidesUSA.com http://www.myguidesusa.com, you will find valuable tips and resources for handling life's major events. Whether you're planning a wedding, buying your first home, anxiously awaiting the birth of a child, contending with a divorce, searching for a new job, or planning for your retirement, you'll find answers to your questions at MyGuidesUSA.com.

Find employment tips and resources, such as resume and cover letter development, interviewing skills, and information for those considering a career change at http://jobs.myguidesusa.com

I may have always been a workaholic. I am not positive of that, but I"ve always enjoyed what I did so much that I never minded doing it. If what you do always brings a smile to your face, how can you not only enjoy doing it ---- but keep doing it?

However, that may be just enabling rationalization. You see, too much work or being a workaholic can be dangerous. I look back now on my life and realize that I must have missed a great piece of the happiness that a father is entitled to enjoy when his kids are growing up. My kids are now grown, married and, in fact, I have seven grand kids.

So ask yourself this question. Are you a workaholic? Before you answer too quickly -- think hard about it. Think hard because you could be in denial about it and that is dangerous. After all, being successful in this industry takes quite a commitment.

To become successful, you have to be willing to go above and beyond. That"s exactly what I kept telling myself all those years that I put in sixty, seventy, eighty hours and more per week building my success.
Does any of this sound familiar yet? If not, congratulations. You have found the unique ability to create balance in your life. That or you just haven"t created your own success and long to become what you can"t become without making some of the sacrifices required.

This sounds like rambling but I really am trying to make a point. A point I learned from my seven-year-old grandson Zayne. My wife Tracy and I often visit Dayton, Ohio as I have several clients in that town. This is nice because all my kids live in that city so I often combine business trips with visiting the grandkids. Last month however, we decided to visit purely for the sake of visiting. Generally when we are in town we stay at my daughter"s house instead of a hotel. On this particular - non-business visit, less than fifteen minutes after arriving at my daughter"s house my grandson ,Zayne, said:

"Grandpa ... where is your computer? Don"t you have to go work now? Are you going to sit around and work all the time like you always do?" (Obviously something he must have heard from his mother).

When I responded that I was not going to work today, tomorrow... or the next day, and that my computer (laptop) was at home, I saw Zayne"s face light as if Tracy had just bought him another "Transformer" toy. That look on his face and the hug that followed made not bringing my computer all-worthwhile.

When I questioned him about why he asked me that, he replied:

"Because mommy and Uncle Rhett (MY SON) are always talking about how you are on your stupid laptop 24/7. Uncle Rhett says you visit a lot but you are never really here."

If you are a parent, you already know how clever your kids are. They pick up on these things real fast. What you say (or don"t say), your actions, your expressions, your tone... they absorb it ALL. Zayne taught me something that day. He taught me that you need to know when to pull back and hit the pause button. You need to have a balance between work and family.

As people, leaders, executives, entrepreneurs, we are often so self-driven and motivated to "do more," to reach an even higher level of success that we suffer from "tunnel vision" and often neglect some of the most important things in life.

I once went to a seminar where the speaker asked us all to close our eyes and visualize the one thing in life that we would be willing to die for. What was the one and only thing that we would be willing to take a bullet in the heart for? He had us keep our eyes closed and think about that for at least three minutes. Then he told us to open our eyes and said:

"When you figure out what it is that you are really willing to die for, then you will know exactly what you should be living for."

That really hit home with me. The room was totally silent as I am sure that everyone had the same thoughts - it"s your wife, your kids, your family. They and only they are what you would take a bullet in the heart for.

So.... If that"s true, why aren"t you living more for them?

Cat Stevens published a song called "Cats In The Cradle". In this song, Dad is a workaholic. At least that is what is inferred. He seems to never have time for his son. And guess what? His son grows up and doesn"t have time for his Dad. I wonder where he learned that?

Here are some of the lyrics:

"My son turned ten just the other day

He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let"s play

can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,

I got a lot to do" He said "That"s okay"

And he walked away but his smile never dimmed

And said "I"m gonna be like him, yeah

You know I"m going to be like him"

I"ve long since retired, my son's moved away

I called him up just the other day

I said "Id like to see you if you don"t mind"

He said "Id love to Dad, if I could find the time.

You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.

But it"s sure nice talking to you, Dad;

It's sure been nice talking to you..."

And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me

He'd grown up just like me,

My boy was just like me...

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy grew with the man on the moon

When you comin home, Son, I don"t know when,

But we'll get together then, Dad

We're gonna have a good time then.

It"s really kind of sad. It sure rings a chord in my heart. I wish I could go back and recapture some of that time I lost, ---- no not lost -- time I gave up, when my kids were growing up. Don"t make the same mistakes I made. Spend quality time with your family. Go to the beach, go fishing, take them to Disney World, go camping, play laser tag with them as a family or just go to a movie together. What ever you do, make sure the time is totally dedicated to them. That means no checking email (I know... it only takes a minute), no access to the Internet and limited cell phone access. Turn it off!

My question to you is... how MUCH quality time are you spending with your family? Be honest.
Are your job, your career, and your business slowly consuming all your free time and quality family time without you even realizing it? If so ask yourself this question.
"What is the one thing in life YOU are willing to die for?"

C"mon, get a life... a real life. Your business is important. Your career is important but nothing in life is more important than your family. And I don"t want to hear that age-old excuse that without your job, your career or your business you can"t give your family everything they want. Bull Crap. You can have a career, you can run a business and you can be successful without sacrificing your family to do it. It just means that you have to understand balance and priorities.

I do some executive coaching and I have to tell you that even at that level many executives don"t document their personal goals. Usually when I ask the question, "what are your personal non-business goals? I get an answer that generally has a little bit of whine in it surrounded by surprise that I even asked the question. A recent client of mine answered by saying: "Personal Goals, when do I have time for personal goals?"

The fact was quite obvious that this particular executive had a major issue with balance in his life. I asked: "What is the one thing you would change about your personal lifestyle if you could change it tomorrow with no pain?" He knew the answer to this question immediately and quickly became animated as he started discussing his family relationships and the guilt he carried because he knew he was missing out on some of the most exciting days of his children"s lives.

This is a very successful CEO that runs a distribution company with revenues that exceed two hundred million dollars. His company is future oriented, they practice scenario planning, have a vision for the future and a well-developed strategic plan. Company goals and objectives are well documented yet on a personal level this CEO hasn"t even thought about setting goals.

Make no mistake ---- It"s extremely difficult to maintain business success if you don"t maintain personal family success.

You don"t have to be trapped by success. Success is a good thing but part of being successful is creating balance in your life. There are steps you can take to create the kind of balance that will not only improve your personal life expectations but they will enhance your business platform for success.

The Very First Thing

Sit down with your family and have an open honest discussion. Ask for their input, their observations and their opinions. Include your kids in the conversation. Don"t get defensive and don"t act like a martyr. Listen, listen and listen some more. Refocus some of that entrepreneurial energy on creating family success. Create a family balance plan. They will understand more than you realize and they will not only be supportive but they can help you create that balance and prioritization that may be missing from your life.

You see, in reality, all your family really wants is a little more time with you. You can do that and still be as wonderful and as productive as you think you are. In fact, you may be surprised and find out that with a little more balance in your life you can actually become even better.

So if "my rambling" does nothing more for you than making you want to hug your son or your daughter a little tighter, it was worth writing. If it has inspired you to take a closer look at the balance in your life than it"s a home run. I wish someone had been this frank with me when I was still young and building my future.

Note: This article was inspired by an article written by Jason Potash, internet Marketing Guru. http://www.ceostrategist.com - Sign up to receive "The Howl" a free monthly newsletter that addresses real world industry issues. - Straight talk about today"s issues. Rick Johnson, expert speaker, wholesale distribution"s "Leadership Strategist", founder of CEO Strategist, LLC a firm that helps clients create and maintain competitive to Lead So Others Will Follow"advantage. Need a speaker for your next event, E-mail rick@ceostrategist.com

And check out Rick"s new CD and workbook Real World Leadership Kit --- "Learning http://www.ceostrategist.com/resources-store/real-world-leadership.html

Workaholism is spreading like a nasty disease. Are you a workaholic? I was until I realized I was killing myself for a company that cut human resources at every possible opportunity. My ex boss is a workaholic and as far as I can see, he does not have a very happy existence. I now work three days a week and very glad that I managed to escape !

Many of us grew up in families and societies where the Protestant work ethos was very strong. Leisure is idleness, work is a good thing but workaholism is the best ! If work for you is the driving force in your life and you have no time or interest in anything else, then you are probably a workaholic! But this addiction is not easily cured and I think it is rather like a terminal illness.

'Get a life' is a common expression and really it should be on every workaholic's desk! I had another boss who scouted the office occasionally to find staff working too long hours and would suggest that they go home ! He was able to demonstrate that he had time for his family and loved ones and that another life existed outside his company office.

How many companies do you know that have a workplace stress policy and actually put it into practice? Very few, I suspect and the sad fact is that workaholism is rewarded in companies and promotion is often the result. The problem for the company though, is that workaholism is an infectious disease and highly contagious. The management chain will demand more and more than is reasonable and productivity will suffer.

Faster promotion and high salaries are the carrots held out to the workaholic who needs to keep his adrenaline rush going and this is part of the addiction. Workaholics were surveyed recently and 38% claimed they were on $100,000 plus annually. Only 22% of people on lower salaries claimed they were stressed out or workaholics. The workaholic though has problems with his colleagues and is usually very poor at delegating work.

Stress and workaholism go hand in hand. The workaholic will suffer from a range of stress related illnesses which can be anything from panic attacks, ulcers, burnout and high blood pressure. Depression will rear its ugly head and can sometimes result in suicide. The workaholic is more and more dependent on his adrenalin rush. The final result is often a fatal illness such as a heart attack or stroke.

The number of divorces among workaholics is much higher than in any other category. Not surprising in that the workaholic cannot dedicate any time to the marriage. Family members are subject to depression and have a lower self esteem. The benefits of a higher salary may be considerable in having a good lifestyle but at what price?

The first step in coming to terms with workaholism is recognizing that there is a problem. Are you driven by work? Is your boss driving you too hard and you in turn are being affected by his/her disease? Time to decide what to do before you become another victim. Your family will thank you for it.

Robert Locke is an Internet Marketer specializing in Health, Wellness and Fitness. For Breaking News on the Wellness Front, visit his blog on :- http://thewellnessbible.blogspot.com Is Stress taking over your life? How can you deal with workaholism? Click on the link below. http://www.usfreeads.com/888270-cls.html

You are single but married to your job. You walk, sleep and dream about your job. Putting in more than 60-plus hours a week. You most probably are in needed of dating tips and advice. Take a bold step in time and first determine if you are a workaholic. A workaholic works his life out due to an inner need that must be complimented with something else. Potential dates and mates have been relegated from your busy program and schedule. Friends have probably been put aside, you cannot afford time for them. The pattern of falling into long working hours might have been prompted by demanding clients or an equally demanding boss. You simply cannot get enough time to satisfy their needs. Is it a promotion you are looking for in order to slow down or busy is your other name. Either you will have to say no sometimes or simply look for another job.

Know and identify your priorities. Whenever a person tells you there was simply no time to call you, what they are implying is that calling you was not a priority. As age catches up with us, the busier our lives become. You and your work are inseparable, take time and savor this dating tips and advice. Have you ever reflected whether there is a need to kill yourself with work. Or maybe you use it as a smokescreen to hide from potential mates. The moment you feel like you are not in a mood to honor a date, your work comes in as the perfect excuse? You have time to chip in work related schedules but your private life is empty and in shambles. It is the high time you took control of your life. Do not let the boss control it.

It does not matter how demanding your job might be. All attention must be focused on your date at that particular time you are with them. It is high time you need learn some balancing acts to put your social and private life and your job at some common level. Pay critical attention to your date. It is the only time you can truly and deeply know them. Listen and respond to them. Acknowledge what they have to say instead of troubling your head with the demands of your job. Relax and remove that job mask so that your dates can get to know your real self. Forget about your work at this particular juncture as one of the crucial dating tips and advice. Even when you are in the office, let them bear in mind that you have not forgotten them. Communicate with them either by calling or via e-mail

Borrow some tips from your married colleagues. You will learn important dating tips and advice from them. Am sure it has not escaped your notice that married guys always get a better deal when it gets down to dealing with business related emergencies. They have honest obligations to meet at home hence they are excused from working late. You just watch them as they leave early. Your life is just as worth as any other. Develop it outside work. Engage in hobbies and hang out with people who are not workaholics

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Dating Tips And Advice Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating Tips And Advice