Workaholism: Hazards and Benefits

I may have always been a workaholic. I am not positive of that, but I"ve always enjoyed what I did so much that I never minded doing it. If what you do always brings a smile to your face, how can you not only enjoy doing it ---- but keep doing it?

However, that may be just enabling rationalization. You see, too much work or being a workaholic can be dangerous. I look back now on my life and realize that I must have missed a great piece of the happiness that a father is entitled to enjoy when his kids are growing up. My kids are now grown, married and, in fact, I have seven grand kids.

So ask yourself this question. Are you a workaholic? Before you answer too quickly -- think hard about it. Think hard because you could be in denial about it and that is dangerous. After all, being successful in this industry takes quite a commitment.

To become successful, you have to be willing to go above and beyond. That"s exactly what I kept telling myself all those years that I put in sixty, seventy, eighty hours and more per week building my success.
Does any of this sound familiar yet? If not, congratulations. You have found the unique ability to create balance in your life. That or you just haven"t created your own success and long to become what you can"t become without making some of the sacrifices required.

This sounds like rambling but I really am trying to make a point. A point I learned from my seven-year-old grandson Zayne. My wife Tracy and I often visit Dayton, Ohio as I have several clients in that town. This is nice because all my kids live in that city so I often combine business trips with visiting the grandkids. Last month however, we decided to visit purely for the sake of visiting. Generally when we are in town we stay at my daughter"s house instead of a hotel. On this particular - non-business visit, less than fifteen minutes after arriving at my daughter"s house my grandson ,Zayne, said:

"Grandpa ... where is your computer? Don"t you have to go work now? Are you going to sit around and work all the time like you always do?" (Obviously something he must have heard from his mother).

When I responded that I was not going to work today, tomorrow... or the next day, and that my computer (laptop) was at home, I saw Zayne"s face light as if Tracy had just bought him another "Transformer" toy. That look on his face and the hug that followed made not bringing my computer all-worthwhile.

When I questioned him about why he asked me that, he replied:

"Because mommy and Uncle Rhett (MY SON) are always talking about how you are on your stupid laptop 24/7. Uncle Rhett says you visit a lot but you are never really here."

If you are a parent, you already know how clever your kids are. They pick up on these things real fast. What you say (or don"t say), your actions, your expressions, your tone... they absorb it ALL. Zayne taught me something that day. He taught me that you need to know when to pull back and hit the pause button. You need to have a balance between work and family.

As people, leaders, executives, entrepreneurs, we are often so self-driven and motivated to "do more," to reach an even higher level of success that we suffer from "tunnel vision" and often neglect some of the most important things in life.

I once went to a seminar where the speaker asked us all to close our eyes and visualize the one thing in life that we would be willing to die for. What was the one and only thing that we would be willing to take a bullet in the heart for? He had us keep our eyes closed and think about that for at least three minutes. Then he told us to open our eyes and said:

"When you figure out what it is that you are really willing to die for, then you will know exactly what you should be living for."

That really hit home with me. The room was totally silent as I am sure that everyone had the same thoughts - it"s your wife, your kids, your family. They and only they are what you would take a bullet in the heart for.

So.... If that"s true, why aren"t you living more for them?

Cat Stevens published a song called "Cats In The Cradle". In this song, Dad is a workaholic. At least that is what is inferred. He seems to never have time for his son. And guess what? His son grows up and doesn"t have time for his Dad. I wonder where he learned that?

Here are some of the lyrics:

"My son turned ten just the other day

He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let"s play

can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,

I got a lot to do" He said "That"s okay"

And he walked away but his smile never dimmed

And said "I"m gonna be like him, yeah

You know I"m going to be like him"

I"ve long since retired, my son's moved away

I called him up just the other day

I said "Id like to see you if you don"t mind"

He said "Id love to Dad, if I could find the time.

You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.

But it"s sure nice talking to you, Dad;

It's sure been nice talking to you..."

And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me

He'd grown up just like me,

My boy was just like me...

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy grew with the man on the moon

When you comin home, Son, I don"t know when,

But we'll get together then, Dad

We're gonna have a good time then.

It"s really kind of sad. It sure rings a chord in my heart. I wish I could go back and recapture some of that time I lost, ---- no not lost -- time I gave up, when my kids were growing up. Don"t make the same mistakes I made. Spend quality time with your family. Go to the beach, go fishing, take them to Disney World, go camping, play laser tag with them as a family or just go to a movie together. What ever you do, make sure the time is totally dedicated to them. That means no checking email (I know... it only takes a minute), no access to the Internet and limited cell phone access. Turn it off!

My question to you is... how MUCH quality time are you spending with your family? Be honest.
Are your job, your career, and your business slowly consuming all your free time and quality family time without you even realizing it? If so ask yourself this question.
"What is the one thing in life YOU are willing to die for?"

C"mon, get a life... a real life. Your business is important. Your career is important but nothing in life is more important than your family. And I don"t want to hear that age-old excuse that without your job, your career or your business you can"t give your family everything they want. Bull Crap. You can have a career, you can run a business and you can be successful without sacrificing your family to do it. It just means that you have to understand balance and priorities.

I do some executive coaching and I have to tell you that even at that level many executives don"t document their personal goals. Usually when I ask the question, "what are your personal non-business goals? I get an answer that generally has a little bit of whine in it surrounded by surprise that I even asked the question. A recent client of mine answered by saying: "Personal Goals, when do I have time for personal goals?"

The fact was quite obvious that this particular executive had a major issue with balance in his life. I asked: "What is the one thing you would change about your personal lifestyle if you could change it tomorrow with no pain?" He knew the answer to this question immediately and quickly became animated as he started discussing his family relationships and the guilt he carried because he knew he was missing out on some of the most exciting days of his children"s lives.

This is a very successful CEO that runs a distribution company with revenues that exceed two hundred million dollars. His company is future oriented, they practice scenario planning, have a vision for the future and a well-developed strategic plan. Company goals and objectives are well documented yet on a personal level this CEO hasn"t even thought about setting goals.

Make no mistake ---- It"s extremely difficult to maintain business success if you don"t maintain personal family success.

You don"t have to be trapped by success. Success is a good thing but part of being successful is creating balance in your life. There are steps you can take to create the kind of balance that will not only improve your personal life expectations but they will enhance your business platform for success.

The Very First Thing

Sit down with your family and have an open honest discussion. Ask for their input, their observations and their opinions. Include your kids in the conversation. Don"t get defensive and don"t act like a martyr. Listen, listen and listen some more. Refocus some of that entrepreneurial energy on creating family success. Create a family balance plan. They will understand more than you realize and they will not only be supportive but they can help you create that balance and prioritization that may be missing from your life.

You see, in reality, all your family really wants is a little more time with you. You can do that and still be as wonderful and as productive as you think you are. In fact, you may be surprised and find out that with a little more balance in your life you can actually become even better.

So if "my rambling" does nothing more for you than making you want to hug your son or your daughter a little tighter, it was worth writing. If it has inspired you to take a closer look at the balance in your life than it"s a home run. I wish someone had been this frank with me when I was still young and building my future.

Note: This article was inspired by an article written by Jason Potash, internet Marketing Guru. http://www.ceostrategist.com - Sign up to receive "The Howl" a free monthly newsletter that addresses real world industry issues. - Straight talk about today"s issues. Rick Johnson, expert speaker, wholesale distribution"s "Leadership Strategist", founder of CEO Strategist, LLC a firm that helps clients create and maintain competitive to Lead So Others Will Follow"advantage. Need a speaker for your next event, E-mail rick@ceostrategist.com

And check out Rick"s new CD and workbook Real World Leadership Kit --- "Learning http://www.ceostrategist.com/resources-store/real-world-leadership.html