Workaholism: Hazards and Benefits

This is a tale that takes place is Anytown, USA.

You know the characters. Both are always day dreaming about a better life. A life free from work. A life free from debt. A life enjoyed with family.

Both go after their dreams, but in different ways.

Shortly after graduating college, the Workaholic was offered his "dream job." Nine to five with holidays off and two weeks vacation every year. The pay wasn't all that much to start, but there were miles above him on the corporate ladder. All he had to do was climb and a better life waited with each step.

The Loser took a similar job at a different company. The hours were a little different, eight to four. Other than that, you couldn't really tell the difference without reading the company name outside the office.

Day after day, they both climbed the ladder. Then, after a couple years, they both realized they were working 10 hours a day instead of 8.

The Workaholic pressed on. "If I only suck it up a few more years, I'll be at the top with the life I want for my family," said the Workaholic.

The Loser took another approach. He stopped climbing. Instead, he spent his evenings building a home based business.

When the Workaholic saw what the Loser was doing, he scorned him. "Those things never work! You're throwing your money away! You'll never amount to anything!" said the Workaholic.

The Loser was indeed hurt by those comments, but he pressed on. You see, at this point, the Workaholic was making more money than the Loser; but the Workaholic was also spending all his time at work.

A little while later, the Loser and his wife were at a school play. All the parents were there. Well, almost all of them.

The Loser found the Workaholic's wife and daughter. "Where is the Workaholic?" asked the Loser.

"Oh...he had to work...it's okay, I have a video tape for him. He said he thinks he'll be able to watch it sometime next week," said the Workaholic's wife. "How's that home based business thing of yours going?"

"Oh, it's okay. The Workaholic and I make about the same amount of money now."

"That's nice, but it must be hard to lose that money every time you take a week off, right?"

"I don't lose it. I get paid even if I don't work."

"Well, enjoy it while it lasts. My husband is working for a solid income and pension. In the end, those home business things never work, Loser."

The years went by and the differences kept getting larger and larger.

The Loser retired young...very young. In fact, his children were not yet in high school when he retired.

The Loser also had more money coming in than almost everyone in the town. The Loser was able to spend as much time with his family as he wanted, and enjoy life on his own terms.

The Loser was the primary contributor to multiple charities that he supported. Throughout town, he was know and the most generous man to ever live in Anytown.

The Workaholic kept climbing. He missed his children growing up. He wasn't there when they had school performances. He wasn't there when they had birthday parties. He almost missed their graduation.

Every step of the way he was promised a better life, so he kept climbing. Yet, every step made him more a slave to his job.

Even when he was overloaded and spending over 12 hours a day at the office, he couldn't stop. If he did, he'd be fired. Then what would he do?

Sadly, the pension he was promised never came. The economy took a down turn, or so he was told. The few years of financial security he had sacrificed his life for ended up an illusion.

It wouldn't matter much. The Workaholic had pushed himself so hard that he had only a short time left. When he realized his life was ending, all he could think about was how he never really knew his family. He missed all the important events in his children's lives.

Looking out the window he saw what he thought was the Loser in the park. He was old now, but still active. He was spending time with his grandchildren, just as he had invested time in his own children.

The Workaholic turned his had back and finally considered that perhaps the Loser was really not a loser after all.

Who do you see in yourself? If you want it to be the Loser, you need to start a home business We will teach you everything you need to know to guarantee success. Visit our website at http://www.FloridaHomeBasedInternetBusiness.com for more information.

Workaholism is a subset of codependency, and the behaviors of workaholics are learned in childhood.

Usually workaholics have parents who do not allow their children to have a strong sense of self. In turn, children learn survival methods that have to do with their dependency on the actions and behaviors of others. That is, instead of trying to please themselves first, they are intensely aware of, and try to control the reactions of others.

This results in three distinct workaholic behaviors.

Type 1 is the self-sacrificing workaholic, who puts themselves last and will go to any extreme to please and impress a dominant, parent-type person at work. (The dominant person may not be older or even particularly parental, just in a position to reward the workaholic with approval.)

Type 2 is the dominant workaholic, who does not care if they are liked, but must be seen as competent. They can be aggressive and arrogant. They seek respect.

Type 3 is the withdrawn workaholic, who prefers to work alone. They work hard and want to be needed and approved of as well, but do not want to be controlled or dominated. They prefer to keep their emotional distance from others.

All three workaholic types fear rejection, criticism and abandonment and react in different ways when they feel threatened. The one common thread that runs through all three types is the need to control - both themselves and others.

Type 1 - the self-sacrificer, and Type 2 - the dominant, will often surround themselves with weak or needy people. That way they can rescue the needy person and feel needed (Type 1) or dominate and intimidate the needy person (Type 2). Type 3, the withdrawn person, will have no interest in needy people, and just prefers to be left alone to do their work.

A workaholic may have only one or a combination of several of these behaviors, depending on the situation.

Different work environments may actually encourage or take advantage of a workaholic's tendencies to put themselves and their own needs last, and their needs to prove themselves worthwhile by working longer and harder than anyone else.

Years of workaholism can take a toll on a person's health, relationships, and self-esteem, as they never fully come to value themselves as individuals who have worth simply by being themselves.

For more information on Codependency and Workaholism, check out: http://www.MartyrsRus.com

Jennifer Blair is a recovering workaholic who speaks on "Workaholism and the Workplace". She will also be speaking at the "No Time for Me Retreat" in the Shenandoah Valley, VA in March of 2009:

http://www.NoTimeForMe.net

Yes, yes, all work and no play makes Jack and Jill a dull boy and girl. I'm not telling you anything you haven't heard before - but the four most dangerous words in the English language are, "I already know that."

That kind of know-it-all response is close-minded and dismissive. It's a mindset mistake that actually prevents us from making successful and empowering choices in our lives and work. And it has to stop sometime, because it's not helping you.

So give a listen one more time - it might sink in better than it ever has before.

If everyone tells us to slow down and take a break, why do we always ignore the advice? Because we don't have the time to stop - but we never do, and we never will, unless we make the time.

It's a vicious circle, and as a side note, it gets compounded by the fact that we never stop to celebrate the things we *have* achieved. We never get the sense of accomplishment because we're to busy to stop and get it, which means we never feel like we've done enough, and so we have to keep going and work harder and not stop, and so on until we retire.

Here's the counter-intuitive truth: Slowing down actually makes you more productive. When you work yourself silly, you don't give yourself a chance to recharge your body, your mind, or even your emotional batteries. And do you think you're a smooth-running executive engine when you're running on fumes? Of course not.

Besides, life's only going to get faster. If you're thinking about a job change right now - if you've already started the process with a headhunter or a recruiter, written your resume, sent it out by hand or with a distribution service - then now's a fabulous time to take a breather.

It's especially important for you as an executive or manager to break the workaholic habit. If you're setting up unrealistic expectations for yourself, you're also setting your subordinates up for failure - they'll try to model your work habits, and they'll melt down faster than you will. And don't forget the old saw - if you're working too hard, then maybe you're not delegating very well.

Do yourself - and everyone around you - a great favor, and break the habit now, before you get the next executive position. Set yourself up for success.

Allen Voivod is the Chief Blogger for ResumeMachine.com, the leading resume distribution resource for managers, executives, and professionals looking to accelerate their job search results. Get the attention of thousands of hiring agents with the largest and most frequently updated recruiter database on the web, and dive into a wealth of immediately useful career articles and blog posts - all at http://www.ResumeMachine.com

Workaholics often see themselves as overly responsible, overly generous, overly dedicated, and totally self-sacrificing. They experience themselves as unappreciated martyrs.

The truth is, all of their sacrificing is self-serving. Workaholics have a need to control the universe, because they were raised in an out-of-control environment. In their family of origin, workaholics learned the lesson that what you do is more important than who you are.

Thus, workaholics feel they have value only when they are accomplishing something. They do not feel valued just for being themselves.

So by working harder than anyone else, workaholics hope to be valued, respected, and appreciated. This is rarely the case. Puzzlement or indifference is far more common. This can result in the workaholic becoming resentful or self-righteous.

Workaholics also suffer from a lack of identity. Ask a workaholic to tell you what they want in life, and they are stumped. Absolutely clueless. Their core identity is their work. "I am what I do." But the sad truth is, they are NOT. Outwardly, workaholics appear focused and strong. Inwardly, they are lost and empty.

But there is hope. The road to recovery begins with admitting that one is a workaholic and accepting that one's family of origin was not nurturing. This can be hard to accept, but is key.

Then finding people who accept, value, and care about the workaholic for who they are - as they are - takes time, as trust is slowly rebuilt.

In the end, happiness and even spontaneity can return, as workaholics experience the care, support, and nurturing they missed as children.

Jennifer Blair is a recovering workaholic who struggles with these issues every day. She's speaking to other workaholics (recovering or not), codependents, and just plain frazzled people who never take time for themselves - at the "Time for Me" retreat in March of 2009. http://www.NoTimeForMe.net We'd love for you to join us.

With teaching, the job never stops. However, you will come to a screeching halt if you burn yourself out. In this article, let's consider the difference between working with passion and working until you are fried.

The term 'workaholic' is tossed around quite a bit - and some people wear it like a badge of honor, others use it as a derogatory comment, others try to hire people who are self-described by the term, and others have full coaching and consulting practices built around the concept. Since I'm a person who happens to love work (and always have) and find that work and achieving through work is not something to be derided, then I tend not to use the term workaholic. Burned out, however, that is something that can happen in teaching and that's what we want to prevent.

As the article title suggests, workaholic behavior, i.e., working that has all the attributes of an addiction, is lauded and applauded by other people...especially if they are the beneficiaries of your addiction. People who may "applaud" you include

1. your principal who knows that she can always ask you to take on one more committee (even though you already serve on seven committees and task forces at your school);
2. your grade level teaching partners who get you to run to the library and gather all the books for the upcoming social studies unit that you designed and that they will all be teaching in their classrooms;
3. your students' parents who love the fact that you have told them that they can call anytime of the day or night (or weekend) to ask for help with their students' homework;
4. people at your church, mosque, synagogue or other place of worship who "count on you" to organize the phone tree every year when it has to be redone;
5. neighbors who don't hesitate to ask you for help regardless of the task (or the time involved); and so on.

But, here are the ones who aren't applauding - because they aren't the beneficiaries, but rather are bearing the brunt of your workaholism when it leads to 'burn out':

1. your own family, either immediate or extended;
2. your students who may get the short attention span or short fuse that a workaholic often has;
3. your body, mind, and soul because the workaholic takes no time to focus on personal needs or downtime. The long-term toll that you pay for this neglect is nearly incalculable.

When you work with passion and professionalism, i.e., going above and beyond in terms of your commitment, drive,creativity, knowledge base, dedication, and sense of mission, then you make a difference in the lives of others every day - and you are fulfilled. Yet, teaching at this high level requires that we take a little 'down' time here and there and focus on some other aspect of our lives besides teaching. It requires that we tend to our own needs - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - so that we are whole and 'full' and then able to bring the zeal and zest we feel for students and learning to our work.

If you neglect taking care of yourself, then before long, you are tired, resentful, 'hungry,' empty, and emotionally weary. And fairly soon, you'll been to experience the signs of burnout. If you don't make changes swiftly, it could become an essentially-permanent condition - and that's sad and is a loss the profession can't afford.

When teachers are healthy - physically, emotionally, and mentally - they are better able to serve those around them. If necessary, reframe your thinking if you have believed that being a workaholic (i.e., working to the point of exhaustion day in and day out, week in and week out, year in and ....) is normal behavior. Your students admire you and want you around as their vibrant teacher. When and if you become burned out, you do not bring your best to the classroom - or anywhere else. Stop now, while you can.

And if you'd like to access many more articles about the personal aspects of teaching, as well as ones that share teaching tips and techniques, please go to

http://www.ArticlesforTeachers.com and see what's there for you to use in your life and your classroom.

I also invite you to access scores of free resources that you can use to build vocabulary in your classroom, including PowerPoints, PDFs, and Word documents, by going to...

** http://www.OwningWordsforLiteracy.com - and you can click on the Downloads tab.

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., "The Ph.D. of Productivity"(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!

Yesterday morning, I woke up very early so I could go for a long run. I knew I was going to be running for 2 and a half hours and instead of dreading it, I was actually looking forward to it because I knew how it was going to make me feel whilst I was doing it. I had a presentation to deliver in the evening so I knew I could practice some more as I ran and had the rare luxury of just allowing my mind to wander where it wanted. The weather was lovely and I was relaxed and I just felt... happy.

This got me thinking. The people I know who are most 'in control' of their lives and most satisfied and happy on a day-to-day basis are those who have an outlet, a hobby (for want of a better word!). I often ask clients what they do when things are stressful in the office - what can they turn to or rely on knowing it will calm them down and allow them to carry on with the rest of their day. Mostly, they don't have one and a few say they go outside for a cigarette. Obviously I don't recommend that but what do you do when you need a time out? You know what stresses you but more importantly, do you know what de-stresses you?

Hobbies are what we all have as kids but only some of us have them when we grow up. It is so good for your health and mind to have something you enjoy in your life as a regular fixture and know that in times of stress, you could escape to do it knowing it will get you back on track.

Its obviously harder for some people to find any spare time in the day - like mothers with young children, but even if it's 15 minutes in the middle of the day to do something distracting, it's worth everything.

So what could you do?
The hobby needs to be something that is mentally all consuming so that it demands 100% of your focus so you don't worry about what else you should be doing. Life is too much about worrying what we should be doing and that's why taking this break is essential.

Try running, cycling, swimming, golf, dancing, gym classes, walking and gardening.

And distraction techniques don't necessarily have to be activity based. My sister-in-law is a busy Company Director but she manages to lose herself in sewing when she needs to wind down and refocus. I also know people who get lost in writing, photography, art, scrapbooks, reading and cooking.

And for those who are in need of a fix in the office, try walking round the block, or finding a quiet spot for lunch and sitting and relaxing or listening to your ipod.

It doesn't matter what the strategy is, you just need to make sure you have something that you can always rely on to fix a bad mood, distract you from anything that's bothering you at the time and move your thoughts to a new and positive state of mind. Don't stay stewing.

So think about it now. What do you turn to when you need a break to unwind and recharge?

Jeff Archer is the Director of The Tonic, a corporate health and wellness company. Subscribe to http://instantfeelgood.blogspot.com and get more great tips

We embrace our work with passion and devotion, willingly sacrificing family and friends. We believe that the longer and harder we work, the more we will be rewarded. Ostensibly, our focus is on money and prestige, but in truth, we do these things because we feel they will make us happy. But do they?

No matter how overwhelmed we become, our minds and bodies racing, we make excuses for our hectic life. "This is what I need to do to get ahead." "My job demands I work these long hours." We tell ourselves these things because we need to believe they are true.

After all, we spend the majority of our life at work, and to admit that there is something wrong means we have to stop. And stopping is what we don't want to do. We purposely keep ourselves overloaded with grueling schedules and constantly ringing cell phones. We are so used to not feeling that we keep ourselves distracted with this overpacked life; for to stop would mean to feel, and this is what we are subconsciously avoiding.

This automatic existence robs us of feeling-of being present-and keeps us always and forever, removed from the action. Our glamorous busy life has failed to make us feel good.

That's because, to feel good, we need to feel, period. But that's not possible if all our energy is above our neck. A racing mind prevents us from feeling and keeps us from experiencing joy.

To stop this runaway train, we need to recognize that we are on overload. Rather than do more, we need to do less. If we keep pushing past this point, we will feel even more overwhelmed. This is when we get sick, make mistakes, have a fender bender. We begin to get little signs and signals from the universe telling us to slow down. And if we don't listen, the message keeps getting louder and louder.

I knew an attorney, who kept saying he needed to slow it down. He wanted more time with his family, more time for himself. He was literally on a roller coaster from morning to night. And then, after saying the same thing for many years and never doing anything about it, he had a massive heart attack. He was young, in his early forties, but it stopped him in his tracks. He was confined to bed rest for a month and not allowed back to work for two. When I talked to him he told me he "knew" the attack had saved his life, given him a chance to do it right.

You do not need a heart attack to get it. You just need to stop. But how do we stop when we are gong a thousand miles a minute?

The quickest way is to sit on the floor right where you are. This immediately bypasses a frantic mind and grounds you. I do not know if plopping on the floor is so physically ridiculous (I've been known to do this in full business attire) that you are instantly refocused, or if sitting immediately centers you in your body and takes you out of your head. Either way, it stops a racing mind and allows you to breathe.

Breathing, we become calm. This is because for the moment, the mind is at rest. Feeling our body, we stop the constant chatter and listen to our beating heart. Now we are present. We are the action.

At least we have a starting point.

Chapter 45 from Reality Works- Let It Happen Copyright 2002 Chandra Alexander

Chandra Alexander, MSW, has been living and teaching authenticity for the last thirty years. Selected by The Oprah Magazine as the Life Coach to deliver twelve coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their Toyota Moving Forward contest, she also spent five years on NBC/TV/Daytime giving a weekly "Reality Check." Her blog, http://www.ChandraUnplugged.com is a real find for any true seeker on the path to authenticity. Along with a private practice in Tampa, FL, she coaches clients all over the world in the areas of relationships, work and consciousness. To learn more about her books and CDs, visit her website at http://www.Coachgirl.com

Many professional singles find it difficult to find time to date. The demands of the job, overworking, starting a new job or the fear of being rejected keep all many people from venturing out to find love. There are few things in life that are worth taking a risk for; love is one of them. If you find that you want a long-term romantic relationship but these various barriers keep you from dating, read on and we'll address these areas.

Most professional singles have a very demanding job that takes up much of their time. Those who are married with children are more likely to keep work within its parameters and not allow their job to consume their life. But those who are single face the challenge of investing their entire life into work. The first step in getting out of this trap is to plan free time into your schedule. Just like you plan a lunch meeting or a few hours to research, you need to take a block of time to spend on things you enjoy. Don't fall into the trap that many professional singles find themselves in; engulfed so much in work that they don't have time for a relationship.

Other people find themselves overworking on purpose to avoid being alone. Humankind was not intended to live alone. In our society individualism is more popular than other cultures around the world, but being by oneself will always leave a yearning within. If you identify with overworking so you don't have to be alone, cut down on your work schedule and find places you would enjoy visiting.

If you like art, then join the local museum, if you like coffee, hang out at the coffee shop. Put yourself in places where you will have common interest with others. Try to visit a few bars or local music venues in your area. Another great place to meet other professional singles is with an online matchmaker. They can match you up with someone that has a very common interest. You won't have to try very hard to find someone because they do all the ground work for you.

Maybe you're new at your job and you're a bit shy to approach anyone. This is more common than you think. Even people with outgoing personalities have to overcome the awkwardness of being new somewhere. We want to be known and to know others but it takes time and a bit of effort. Whatever you do, be natural. Don't avoid being in places with people, but take advantage of it. If you find yourself skipping out for lunch, stay one day and eat lunch with your coworkers who stay in the office. You'll be surprised at how quickly you'll be able to hop in the conversation. Once you do it one time, it will get easier the next till you have developed a good relationship with other professional singles in your office.

No one likes to be rejected. We all want to be accepted and work really hard at avoiding rejection by staying away from people. Although this tactic does work, it also avoids love and acceptance so you're living a very isolated and lonely life. Coming to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like you and vise versa is very freeing. Don't fear rejection so much that you stay away from people. Find just one person you connect with and begin to build a friendship. You don't have to jump right into a long term romantic commitment, it can begin slowly. There are more people around you than you may think that have the potential to build strong relationships with. Keep your eyes open and put yourself out there; you're bound to meet someone you can share your heart with.

If you're a professional single, you have different obstacles to overcome than other singles. By addressing these limitations and getting passed them, you will find your way and meet people you can find love in. The best place to begin is with an online matchmaking service. You can try to meet other professional singles at your work or favorite places to frequent, but if that's not working for you give online matchmaking a try; you won't be disappointed.

Debra is an experienced writer on the professional singles market and dating industry. She has been writing for many years and has had many articles published throughout various mediums. Some of her most favorite topics to write on include single professionals over 30, mature professional singles, and matchmaking. Debra's articles are a quick and enjoyable read. They are especially great for anyone looking to start dating and still keep up with their hectic lives.

While working hour upon hour may pay off where your bank account is concerned, it's sure to wreak havoc on the rest of your life. Success is meaningless if it doesn't touch all areas of your life. Who wants to be rich if it causes the rest of your life to be empty? Being a success isn't only about being at the top of your game in your business life, it takes into account all areas of your life.

For workaholics, it's a hard prospect to consider: taking a step back from their business lives. Often they feel that if they let go of any part of their work, they stand to lose everything previously gained. In reality, slowing down doesn't mean giving up on achieving your business goals, it simply means finding ways to work smarter to give you balance in your life as a whole. It means getting your working (or shall we say "over-working") habits under control and optimizing the time you do spend working in order to get more done in less time. The following are some tips that are sure to help you curb your workaholic tendencies:

**Keep an agenda.** Use it to schedule your day. Plan your work time, family time and whenever possible, schedule some time for R & R. Remember that overextending yourself is sure to result in burnout. The goal here is balance, not adding more hours to your day. Foregoing sleep is unlikely to make you more productive in the long run.

**Allow yourself to forget about work for a while.** For workaholics this step is easier said than done. Time with friends and family can become stressful when your mind is swimming with all the things to be done at the office. A conscious effort to forget work is needed to break this habit. Remember, someone that is distant and distracted does not make for a fun companion and will likely damage their relationships.

**Learn to delegate.** Studies show that successful individuals are not those that bury themselves in work, they are the individuals that simply know how to delegate to make the most of their time. Many workaholics have a hard time with this, believing that the best way to get a job done well is to do it themselves. This belief could actually damage your career instead of helping it. For example, when a business owner takes on non-incoming earning tasks such as research, data entry, fielding the company s incoming emails or calls, and micro-managing employees, he or she is losing time that could be spent on the money earning aspects of his or her business. Delegating these tasks to an in-house employee, or outsourcing to a virtual assistant to save costs, would free up the entrepreneur's time to earn more money for the business.

These are just a few of the many strategies that you can use to find the balance that is needed to become a success in all aspects of your life. The key is stepping out of your comfort zone and away from those workaholic tendencies to see what works best for you. I guarantee you will be glad you did.

Kelly Sims is a Virtual Assistant and Owner of Virtually There VA Services. To find out if you need to simplify your life, please take the "Simplify Your Life" quiz at => http://www.myvirtualofficeassistant.ca/quiz.html. While you are there, register to receive her free mini e-book, "How to Add 2 Hours to Your Day: Lessons in Efficiency". Virtually There VA Services can be found on the web at => http://www.myvirtualofficeassistant.ca.

When you are a workaholic and an overweight to boot, where can you possibly find the time to lose weight? Is there an easy but effective way of losing weight? Revealed here is a quick startup guide for workaholics.

Many workaholics leave their homes early, and yet, they are the last ones to leave work. Ironically, when they do have time to eat, they also work over lunch or dinner. In addition, since they live a sedentary lifestyle, weight gain is common. Overweight workaholics also have a difficult time losing weight.

That said, let us start this quick start-up guide with eating habits. Most skip breakfast altogether. While in theory this may help lose weight, it is actually not the case. Most will just grab a doughnut, bagel, or bread and then drink coffee, which are not satisfying enough. Before lunch, you will end up very hungry, and the tendency then is to eat a lot. Working over lunch, too, will only make you not only linger more, but eat more. It is also important to eat healthy light snacks like a tuna sandwich and orange juice instead of hamburgers.

Sleep is also essential. Studies reveal that obesity is also linked to the lack of sleep. While working is important, sleeping at least eight hours a day is as essential if you want to lose weight.

Any sensible workaholic will drink more water and fruit juices and less caffeine, sweetened, and carbonated drinks. While the latter can easily quench your thirst or keep you awake, the sugar level is also increased and the result is weight gain.

And lastly, exercise is still important. It does not have to be daily. Exercising 2 to 3 times a week is already enough. The more sedentary you are, the higher the chance of getting fat. Remember, workaholics can also be sexy and healthy!

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I start a new job a week from today and know what a struggle it will be not to overdo it. I know, as part of my workaholism, that I think I have value only when I do more work than anyone else, and better work than is ever called for. I also know that for most of my life, I've lived for those crumbs of approval that people gave me for doing a good job, while feeling empty inside, because nothing and no one knew or validated the real me.

I've been working particularly hard on this the last year, since I almost ruined my health on my last job. (18-hour days, working every weekend, etc.) I started to notice that people were either puzzled by or indifferent to my "sacrifices". Well, phooey on all that. I've made some real friends since then, and I don't want to lose them to neglect as I always have done in the past. I'm getting along better with my immediate family than I ever have, and don't want to lose that, either.

I went to a ton of doctors, found out all the things that have gone wrong through neglecting myself, changed what I could (lost 30 pounds), and have accepted the rest, and try to eat a salad every day and take walks when I'm restless. Most importantly, though, I had to realize that my parents didn't have the "nurturing gene", as I call it. Not through malice, but through ignorance or perhaps fatigue, as they themselves worked long and hard to support 4 kids. So I know I was not given much in the way of attention, affection, or 'strokes' unless I did a chore or brought home a great report card or did something like make dinner that made their lives easier.

I learned to empathize with them in order to feel needed and appreciated. Not surprisingly, I married someone who needed a lot of attention, as well. His issues became mine. Finally (hopefully not too late) I'm starting to nurture myself. For 40 years I wanted to go to an art class, and didn't. It was like it was too selfish, or forbidden fruit somehow. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was actually a little afraid of it. Who knows why?

I finally signed up for a pottery class this fall and, after a shaky start, started going regularly. Now I wonder why I deprived myself of this simple pleasure all these years. I discovered a dance studio near the new job, and I'm going to sign up for a class there one night a week to insure that I'm forced to have another interest and leave work on time that night. I don't care if it's tap dancing or belly dancing, I want to experience the joy of moving my body through space to music. It makes me smile just to think of it.

I also rejected the offer of staying in a Holiday Inn while working out of town, and instead found a Hilton Homewood Suites where I can settle in, make a nest, and live like a human being instead of a temporary visitor. I did this for me, and I'm proud that I took care of myself instead of accepting something less. Sometimes I imagine what a life I could have had with all of those hours I've given away. I hope it's not too late to begin now. Perhaps it's true: "It's never too late to be what you might have been."

I sure hope so.

Watch me dance!

Jennifer Blair is a recovering workaholic who still takes it one day at a time. She's speaking at the Time for Me retreat in VA in March of 2009: http://www.NoTimeForMe.net

Most likely, when you start out in a new business, particularly in real estate investing, you discover it's fun, exciting, and profitable. You may become addicted to it. When you run your own business, you start working 60-hour weeks, even 80-hour weeks. And all of a sudden, you're working all the time.

Your personal life, your family life, and your spiritual life could begin to suffer.
The whole reason you started your business was to achieve financial freedom. But soon you'll find yourself, like I did, working all the time. Perhaps you will then qualify as a workaholic and join my new group-real estate anonymous.

The following ideas will help you set up a system right now so you won't overdo it.

Set office hours.You'll add to your enjoyment if you set office hours. You'll find that you focus better and accomplish more when you have a finite amount of time to work. If you gave yourself seven days a week to work, you'd probably spread out whatever work had to be accomplished over those seven days. Whether you're a part-time or full-time investor, set your office hours and keep them.

Every business has multiple components, especially running your own real estate investing. Find out what you like to do, what you're good at, then do those things yourself and hire others to do the things you don't like.

Could you learn to change the brakes on your car? Change your oil? Even cut your own hair? You probably could figure out how to do these things, but you don't because you don't want to. It's stressful, it's a headache, you're not that good at it, and others are better equipped to do it than you, so you don't mind paying these specialists.

Be careful when you get into real estate investing; you may try to do everything. The thought of doing all those jobs holds a lot of real estate investors back. Whatever tasks cause you headaches, simply hire other people to do them.

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Work is the primary method of making a living. When work becomes your culture, your lifestyle, it is time to re-evaluate that standard of living. Here are a few signs that it is time for a workaholic to go home, and re-connect with life.

Fatigue

Nothing you read or write makes sense. Your eyes are crossed, and the room is slightly spinning. You are fatigued. Nothing of any good will come out of what you are doing. Go home.

When you wake up at 11:00 pm and are still at your work desk, do not consider it a power nap. It is time to go home.

Lately, your health has not been what it used to be. You catch colds more often; your weight has changed significantly; your joints and muscles ache all the time; you have headaches when that was never a problem. Guess what? You are working your body too much, not giving it a chance to recuperate. Decrease your work hours!

Fear

When you are working to keep up with your deadlines, when you are afraid of being demoted or transferred to an undesirable position, you need to go home and figure out how to change your work situation. Do you need help? Are you not delegating enough of your team assignments?

If you believe you are working as hard as you can, but do not feel you are making progress, maybe you need to learn how to work smarter instead of harder.

If you are working above and beyond everyone else because your boss is a bear, it is time to go home and work on your resume. It does not matter if you are well paid. For some bosses, it is considered combat pay. No job is worth putting up with a critical, negative, never-is-satisfied, verbally abusive boss.

Obsession

When you see work everywhere you go, even at the beach, it is time to pull back on your work hours. Your ability to be rational and reasonable is in jeopardy.

When you realize your friends don't bother to call you anymore, or tell you about events going on around town, it's time to go home so you can get some of those calls.

When your family no longer includes you in their activities, assuming you will not take the time off to participate, you are in a critical mass of separation. It is time to save your marriage, relationship with your children, your friends, and others who used to be part of your inner circle.

Best Reason to Go Home

The most critical time to go home is when you decide there is no reason to go home. You live alone; you have a spouse you don't care to see; your children are teenagers and seem to have their own life. You don't think it matters whether you go home or not. You are most happy when you are at work.

If you are working to avoid a home that has no more meaning to you, you are living in denial. Work has replaced what used to be a well balance life. It is now your crutch, your safety net. You need to acknowledge that you are not just a workaholic; you are in desperate need of perspective.

Just as you do an annual employee evaluation, you need to do a personal evaluation. Are you getting the most out of your personal life, and if not, why? What can or should you change? If you died tomorrow, your boss will go to your funeral, and then hire your replacement. Think about it; then prepare an agenda to shift your life back into balance.

With a web site at http://www.synergyprofessionals.com Certified Property Manager Carolyn Gibson writes about homeownership, property management, being a tenant, landlording, and having a property management business. Her book, "How to Pick the Best Tenant" can be found at her web site and at http://www.Amazon.com

In western culture it is easy to get caught up in the fast paced hype of current trends. It seems that there is not enough time to do that which we set out to do. Our tasks lists are longer than our meals with our families. Sitting down to enjoy our families or nurture ourselves is becoming a thing of the past. Unless we stop, look, and listen to how we are really doing or feeling deep inside.

I am a single mother of a teenager and I know from first hand how to be an over responsible workaholic. Being a single mom puts me in a position of being the super woman. I have to cook, clean, organize, pay bills, go to work, take care of my daughter, be the absent father, among other things I am suppose to be or do because of my position of being a single parent.

I dove into my career as an entrepreneur twelve years ago. I am in the service oriented business. My passion was to meet the needs of my clients and for twelve years I did exactly that. What I did not plan on was over working led me to burn out. I was forced to work so that I can provide and live a good life for my daughter. I thought that money was easier if I worked hard and was never home. I even worked two other jobs to make ends meet. What I found out is that my body can only do that for so long and then I got some sort of illness. This is when depression set in for me and it seems to be the highest emotional illness among single parents. I wanted to be the tough mom and the one who could "do it all" and prove to the world that I can do anything! well, that was all wrong.
The workaholic and burnout came together and I crashed. I hated my every day life, and I hated going to work, and I hated what I use to love to do. Personally and professionally I thought I had it made. wrong again. My focus was on meeting the needs of my clients and I neglected myself and everyone else around me, including my daughter. She did not deserve that but I felt I had no choice in the matter.

we all have choices and I finally took a long look at what I had been doing with my life and how it affected the lives of those around me. Yes, I would have done things differently, but I guess it was my time to learn that over working and burnout became a blessing. Why was it a sign of a blessing? Well, once I realized that I was an over doer, I took that break I needed and realized I am a better person for having gone through all what I did. I want to help others who work too much and I want them to get the help they need before they feel guilty or regret some of the things I did. My motto: "Live with No Regrets".

My advice to avoid burnout is to read articles now before it happens. Look for the signs written. If you have lost your lust for life and you are negative every day, get some help. Depression either has set in or you need to get help for your depressed thoughts. When you are depressed it affects others even if you do not think it does My only wish is that whether you are a single parent or not, over working and burnout usually go hand in hand please do not wait until its too late to get the help you need. Stop, look, and listen to the real you on the inside. Above all remember there is a higher power that cares enough about you that, "this too shall pass."

Rodney Dangerfield used to say "I get no respect!" As a workaholic, I get plenty of respect - but very little sympathy.

"Well, it's your own fault! Just stop working so much!" people say. I wish I could. I wish it were that easy. God knows I've tried.

My mind locks on a problem to be solved or a task that needs doing - and it won't rest until the problem is solved or the task is finished, beautifully. "Good enough" isn't in my vocabulary.

I try. I put things out without editing sometimes. I send memos without worrying about the consequences all the time. I even give advice off the top of my head.

But digging into research and solving hard problems gets my juices flowing. It's an ego trip. I admit that freely.

So why then do I want sympathy? Isn't what I'm doing fun?

Yes and no. Like Jim Carrey in the Mask, sometimes I just want to say: "Somebody stop me!" Pick me up by my armpits and drag me out to dinner or a movie. Make me take a walk. Force me to go to Walmart, or a park. Anything to get me away from the computer and my restless mind.

Workaholics are obsessed. That's no secret. And sometimes we're darn proud of it. But if you've ever seen a worn-out, bleary-eyed person who has lost all reason and is no longer productive - but still can't stop - then you know it's not all fun and games.

And we're killing ourselves. We eat fast food, most of us don't exercise, and we don't have friends. We don't have a life. We've forgotten HOW to have a life.

So please! Have a little sympathy. We're a little crazy and we know it. But even the smallest human kindness or attention is appreciated, believe me.

"Stop and smell the roses." Indeed!

Now just what is a rose again, remind me?

Jennifer Blair is a recovering workaholic who struggles daily to have a life.

She'll be speaking at the "Time for Me" retreat: http://www.NoTimeForMe.net

There is no doubt that well-organised and managed work helps to maintain and promote individual health and well-being. But not enough attention to good organisation and methods could result in work-related stress.

Recent statistics confirm that work-related stress is widespread in the U.K working population and is not confined to particular sectors or high risk jobs or industries. That is why a population-wide approach is necessary to tackle it.

If you believe you are suffering from work-related stress, it is important to take action and review your lifestyle to identify any contributing factors, such as the following:

• eating on the run, or in a disorganised manner
• smoking, or drinking excessively
• rushing, hurrying, being available to everyone
• doing several jobs at once
• missing breaks, taking work home with you
• having no time for exercise and relaxation.
• If your work demands exceed your capacity and capability to cope, it can be a significant cause of mental health symptoms, especially stress. Further knock-on effects can include high levels of sickness absence, staff turnover and other indicators of organisational underperformance - including human error.

Dealing with work-related stress

There are two ways to deal with work-related stress:

1) To treat the 'patient' who experiences the stress via diagnosis, treatment and rehabilitation;

2) To assess and repair the failed work system or organisation. This latter action reduces the risk of future failure and the likelihood of future work-related ill-health. It also focuses attention on the reasons for the work-related stress in the first place, i.e. the design and management of the work itself. Of course, intervention at the individual level also has a part to play.

Advice for managers

If staff take time off work because of work-related stress, getting them back to work as quickly as possible is important. A well managed early return to work will reduce the risk of the absence becoming long-term. In general, people find it more difficult to return to work after a long-term absence.

Managers should ensure they keep in regular contact and have frequent progress discussions with returning employees. This will help identify what caused them to take sick leave and the necessary adjustments the firm needs to make. Equally, the employee needs to regularly review their situation with their GP or mental health professional. There may also be factors outside work that contributed to the person's work-related stress. When the employee feels ready to return to work, a 'staged return' - for example, working part-time hours for the first few weeks - can help ease them back into their work.

As stress at work is often linked to specific problems, (e.g. having too much to do in too short a time), it may be worth thinking about practical steps or adjustments that may help the employee when they return.

If the person has found it difficult to cope with particular tasks involved in their job, temporary adaptations and/or changes to the job may provide valuable breathing space by reducing immediate work pressures on return.

Is the person clear about what their job involves and what is expected of them? If not, a review may clarify the aims of the job and the tasks they are expected to complete. Employees returning to work after being away with stress often prefer a period of stability. If changes are unavoidable, the employee needs to be fully involved and consulted.

Is work-related stress out of control? How did we get to this stage?

From the 1970s onwards fashionable trends have pushed us towards the headache that is dual-income workaholic consumerism. From post-war rationing and marginal deprivation grew an increasingly affluent society - one in which to be without consumer goods was to be poor. Initially it became essential to possess a telephone, washing machine and car, but then the range of 'indispensable' goods grew out of all control. Additionally, in response to longer hours and rising incomes, the cost of housing shot up to swallow much of rising incomes. In effect, consumption became a need, not just a want.

Women in particular soon became 'losers' in this new affluent age, even though at first they didn't realise it. Although initially satisfied, even thrilled, with the balance between work and domesticity, progressively they have been forced to adjust to competitive consumption and status pressures by spending more time at work, and having fewer children. Marital stress and family breakdown increased due to anxious behaviour and troubled prospects for the children.

As women poured into the workforce in order to maintain the family's 'status', they continued to do most of the housework and be responsible for the children. Stress grew along with the dilemmas: women were left with the feeling that there was little alternative to confusing needs with wants, having with being.

As of today, British workers put in the longest hours and take the least amount of holiday in Europe, with two thirds of us working through our lunch breaks.

Stress levels in the U.K are soaring. Are we working hard because we want to, or have to? Some experts believe work has become such an important part of our identity that we only feel fulfilled if we push ourselves to achieve our career goals, even if this means neglecting our personal lives. Others believe that we are slaves to an increasingly work-focused, 24-hour society. Do we still work to define who we are, or does the increasing flexibility in our working lives signal a shift towards finding work that fits in with our lives and values, rather than the other way around. Perhaps workaholism is a problem we need to address as a society, by finding work that is more streamlined to our lives, not longer. Or is it a more personal issue: the need to identify purpose and priorities in our own lives?

One thing's for sure: unless we do something about our work/life balance, mental health issues will become an increasing burden on society as a whole.

Uticopa is a UK Therapy Network & Directory that offers online support and mental health resources, with a blog, mental health forum, articles, and access to thousands of qualified therapists in the UK. Whether you are looking to Find a Therapist, wish to learn more about a specific condition, would like to learn about therapies available or just need to share with others who might be experiencing similar problems - you can find support on Uticopa.com

We live in an era that worships a treadmill way of life in the workplace. Professionals who aspire to climb the corporate ladder typically feel compelled to jump on the workaholics bandwagon. While it may start out rather innocently, those who engage in such craziness soon find themselves sucked into a big hole, paying a very big price. Is this YOU?

Initially, there may be valid reasons for taking a huge breath, swallowing hard, and diving into those deep and dark waters. After all, how else can you demonstrate your uncommon commitment to the company of your choice? But soon you discover you cannot come up for air, cannot take a break, cannot wind down even for a day. Now you are addicted to this thing called "work". Why does this happen?

You seek attention and pity.

You want people to notice those 2:00 AM emails. You hope somebody is concerned about those long hours you keep. You need folks to appreciate your sacrifices. Secretly, you pray that others wonder how many years you can maintain this pace without crumbling. Do you see the focus is on YOU? It's so much more about YOU than about job expectations. An occasional middle of the night message is fine; a steady flow of them is nuts.

You live to outshine your colleagues.

Not content to meet or exceed your own professional standards, you constantly compete against colleagues, especially those you dislike. You want to prove to the boss that YOU are the marathon runner, not Tom or Sue. YOU are the one who will endure, suffer, and sell your soul to the organization. YOU are the person who is superhuman, who rarely eats or sleeps. Again, this view is largely about YOU. How much do you actually win by shoving Tom or Sue into the shadows?

You strive to convince yourself that YOU are exceptional.

For some reason you have above average ego needs that never get satiated. Maybe even some need to self-aggrandize. An ongoing anxiety whispers doubts into your ear from morning to night. Perhaps your craving to be recognized as better than others stems from a deep seated feeling of inadequacy. It's worth considering. You don't need to be unique; just be your best self. Develop your talents in ways that truly serve others, and that alone allows you to make a positive mark in the world.

You desperately need to dodge pain.

You're in the middle of a messy divorce. Or maybe you've got a teen in trouble. Your mother has cancer. You fight daily with your partner. Your abusive childhood still drags you down. Ring any bells? Working around the clock provides a convenient escape from acute or chronic sadness, frustration, or fear. Working until you can't think straight numbs the pain. If this describes YOU, don't delude yourself into believing you've got the company's best interests at heart. Face the fact that you're using company business as an excuse for avoiding nasty family issues. In the process, you end up compounding your already thumping headache.

Regardless of why you run the treadmill, you have lots to lose. Whether short term or long term, these losses are serious:

You lose clarity about your personal values and priorities.

Everything becomes cloudy when your hours are consumed only by work. If you once understood what mattered most to you, that clarity is now gone. The deception lies in thinking that you really are on target by doing your job nonstop. All of this gets very seductive if you aren't careful. When you no longer know what you value, you can't set priorities. When you aren't sure of your priorities, you just fill up the time doing things that may not serve you. Life becomes futile without a road map.

You forfeit quality relationships with family and friends.

Workaholism kills relationships. How much time do you invest in your spouse, significant other, children, and friends? When you are with them, are you present physically but not emotionally? Do you find yourself reflecting on problems at work instead of immersing yourself in their company? Or maybe you hardly show up at all, often missing your son's baseball games and your wife's birthday celebrations. Do you see yourself here? If your wife dies in a car accident, count on being consumed by regret. You can't rewind the clock. What is done is done. However, today you can choose something different. What will that be?

You give up control of your calendar.

What determines YOUR calendar? Obligations? Little tasks? Time wasters? Meetings that have nothing to do with the big picture? Time becomes a burden rather than a blessing when YOU fail to take charge of your 24/7. Today, everybody's mantra seems to be: "I'm so busy." Busy dong what? Do you honestly know what you are doing and why you are doing it? Or are you floating along like a leaf in the breeze, with no destination in mind?

You sacrifice your health.

Treadmill stress increases your chances of a heart attack, stoke, and/or sudden cardiac arrest. It impacts your sleep, digestion, memory, and ability to focus. It makes you vulnerable to colds and sore throats. Taking little or no time to relax and refresh has notable consequences. Is this the kind of existence you've designed for yourself? If so, you may be cutting years off your life. Even if you don't shorten its length, you may reduce the quality. Why pay the price of chronic physical illness that robs you of zest and joy? Why turn into a mentally compromised zombie? Whatever happens to you, know that you lose.

Keep in mind that your boss won't thank you someday for choosing the life of a partially functioning invalid. Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your goals and direction.

Sylvia Hepler, Owner and President of Launching Lives, is an executive and career coach/adviser based in South Central Pennsylvania. She connects with clients primarily by phone with in-between emails if desired. Her ideal clients are senior level corporate executives and nonprofit executive directors who are willing to commit to working steadily and diligently to move from their current status of stuckness to greater clarity, improved self-confidence, increased skill, and deeper sense of purpose. Her mission is to support executives as they get unstuck, reduce unnecessary suffering, and increase balance in their lives. Ms. Hepler's background includes: teaching, public speaking, retail sales, freelance writing, and executive leadership of a 14 county nonprofit organization. She has a working knowledge of staff supervision, Board development, Quality Management, SWOTT Analysis, the hiring and firing of employees, mission/vision development, networking, and organizational collaboration. Ms. Hepler demonstrates keen insights into human behaviors, exceptional ability to prioritize projects and tasks, and bulls eye skill around matching appropriate communication strategies with particular situations. Her deep empathy coupled with a no-nonsense approach yields swift, noteworthy results with most coaching clients. PRODUCTS: Ms. Hepler has written a "Special Report" entitled, "FIVE FATAL FLAWS in EXECUTIVE THINKING", produced an audio CD on "making change", and launched a monthly tele seminar series called "Solutions By Sylvia". CONTACT: Sylvia@launchinglives.biz 717-761-5457