Workaholism: Hazards and Benefits

Workaholism is a subset of codependency, and the behaviors of workaholics are learned in childhood.

Usually workaholics have parents who do not allow their children to have a strong sense of self. In turn, children learn survival methods that have to do with their dependency on the actions and behaviors of others. That is, instead of trying to please themselves first, they are intensely aware of, and try to control the reactions of others.

This results in three distinct workaholic behaviors.

Type 1 is the self-sacrificing workaholic, who puts themselves last and will go to any extreme to please and impress a dominant, parent-type person at work. (The dominant person may not be older or even particularly parental, just in a position to reward the workaholic with approval.)

Type 2 is the dominant workaholic, who does not care if they are liked, but must be seen as competent. They can be aggressive and arrogant. They seek respect.

Type 3 is the withdrawn workaholic, who prefers to work alone. They work hard and want to be needed and approved of as well, but do not want to be controlled or dominated. They prefer to keep their emotional distance from others.

All three workaholic types fear rejection, criticism and abandonment and react in different ways when they feel threatened. The one common thread that runs through all three types is the need to control - both themselves and others.

Type 1 - the self-sacrificer, and Type 2 - the dominant, will often surround themselves with weak or needy people. That way they can rescue the needy person and feel needed (Type 1) or dominate and intimidate the needy person (Type 2). Type 3, the withdrawn person, will have no interest in needy people, and just prefers to be left alone to do their work.

A workaholic may have only one or a combination of several of these behaviors, depending on the situation.

Different work environments may actually encourage or take advantage of a workaholic's tendencies to put themselves and their own needs last, and their needs to prove themselves worthwhile by working longer and harder than anyone else.

Years of workaholism can take a toll on a person's health, relationships, and self-esteem, as they never fully come to value themselves as individuals who have worth simply by being themselves.

For more information on Codependency and Workaholism, check out: http://www.MartyrsRus.com

Jennifer Blair is a recovering workaholic who speaks on "Workaholism and the Workplace". She will also be speaking at the "No Time for Me Retreat" in the Shenandoah Valley, VA in March of 2009:

http://www.NoTimeForMe.net