Workaholism: Hazards and Benefits

What are the things you argue about? Where are the disagreements? The small resentments? Where you have to give and receive?

Do you argue about money? Are you fighting over sex? They have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? They squabble over extended family and friends? If one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play what? Does one of you want all the time? Does one of you want to always under control? Do you think about the activities fun in your life? May

Couples conflict have over many areas, but you know, there's a simple explanation for the conflict? When searching for a life partner, it is a good idea to take a look at your "Need Strength Profile", based on Dr. William Glasser work in the area of Choice Theory. This simple examination will determine where you and your partner are in terms of the five basic needs and help you determine what areas are compatible and what areas should generate discussion and possible compromise and negotiation.

There is a free evaluation at www.therelationshipcenter . biz on "Free Stuff" page, a rudimentary understanding of where you are in relation to the five basic human needs of Choice Theory --- love & belong, survival, power, freedom and fun. If you are looking for compatibility in a relationship, you and your partner can both this assessment and then discuss your results are based on the rest of the article.

The first need is called love & belonging. It is about the need to determine how much you need to connect with others. Public relations work best when you have equal strengths of love & belonging need. This is the need that will help you determine how a couple how much time you spend together and how much time is needed apart. Loving sex and romance is another aspect of necessity, as well as extended family and friends.

The second of the five basic needs is survival. This is so much more than just the need to physically survive, but that is part of it. It is also the psychological need to feel safe and secure. Areas of potential conflict around this need with the ability to adapt to change, how to save money, the preparation is done for the safety, spontaneity, among other things things.

The third of the human needs is power that you need, difficult to understand, because power is usually a negative connotation. When people hear "power" they often think of a person to exercise their power over another person. While this is one way, albeit not the best way to secure his power need, there are two possibilities, and more responsibility and palatable.

There are three ways to meet the needs of power --- power over others, power with others and power within us. Power over others is not a responsible way to meet power needs because they deal with the other person is his or her needs met. There are many people who have power over others, but I am advocating for the other two options when seeking compatibility in the relationships.

When people have a high demand for energy, which they are born driven to this need met. They do not know how to get there, they need to know that they can only find. Sometimes you can observe in small children the tendency to power over others. Then, hopefully the lives of the children learn the other two ways to search power.

When up for the "power with" other, it means that you are able to work coherently with a group of people to a common goal. Many sports teams win representation of this "power with" concept, as well as effective work teams and even fully functioning families. "Power with" others can be a very satisfying way of the fulfillment of his own power needs.

The last chance to meet the needs of energy is "power within" oneself. This is generally a need for pride or competence. Those with a high power need it by the power within methods as always do their best. They may seem to be, but perfectionistic produce their best is very satisfying to have them.

In relations, this power must account for the work of addiction, people who need always to control everything around them and a low degree of tolerance for imperfection in others. The power, needs a big influence on interpersonal relationships.

The fourth need to discuss is the need for freedom. People with a high need for freedom and independence, as things their own way. High freedom need people in general do not like rules --- particularly those who do not make sense. They value their time alone. How they do what they want, when they want.

There is usually an inverse relationship between the love and belonging and the freedom needs. If a person has a high need for love and belonging, he or she usually has a lower need for freedom and vice versa. Of course, there are exceptions, but usually there is a relationship between the opposing two.

The last choice theory of basic human needs is fun. Fun seems pretty clear, but there are some nuances that are necessary to understand. There are basically three kinds of fun. It is the loud, energetic kind of fun, people can opt out of physical activity and parties, for example. It is the quiet, relaxed kind of pleasure can be enjoyed, that the fisheries are in a hammock on a warm summer day or reading for pleasure. Then there is the learning as fun.

Now, I am not talking about when you learned algebra! For most of us, that was not funny, but I am talking about learning something you are interested, the useful application for you. For me, the best example is when I learned how to downhill ski and made it the first time down the slope without falling snow and the way down my jacket, my trouser legs and various other places! It is the sheer joy of learning something that interests you. Everyone has different ways to meet their needs and fun, it is that these differences can significantly affect your satisfaction in your relationship.

It is not always true that in order to succeed in your relationship, you have to equal or almost equal need strengths in all five needs. For some needs, it is best when one of you is high and one of you is low that need.

Go www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and take the free assessment today. It is on the "Free Stuff" page with a link on the home page. See what the assessment has to say. If you have any questions, join me in my chat room during one of my scheduled chats to discuss, leave me a message on my blog (click on the "View our Web Journal" link on the home page), or check the Calendar of Events for the coming workshops.

There is so much to learn about the significant improvement of relations in our lives. This gives you a bit more to the puzzle. Our workshops and conferences weekend give you much more of the puzzle pieces help make sense of and work to improve your relationships. Do not wait until it is too late. Invest in your relationships today.

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